CrimsonStainedDoll; w/o safety nets

2008-07-18T22:33:00.002+08:00

I don't know if this onslaught of emotions is brought on by PMS. But yeah.

I feel trapped. Like LOCO ROCO sandwiched somewhere with no idea where to go. I'm so frustrated with not knowing where to go. With feeling lost. Someone said that lately it's been hard to valeo.

Hard? *scoffs* Understatement of the century.

I'm so angry at stuff. Bottling up. I'm so disappointed in people. Bottling up. I'm so confused about things. Bottling up. I'm at my fucking limit. No one's exactly helping. I feel so solitary, so alone. Like I'm fighting my own battle. Alone. Building a stone wall. Alone. Fighting alone, alone, alone.

I need to breathe, to move on, to live a life. To feel like a human, to love like a human, to be treated like one. I'm so annoyed.

Can't find someone? Neither can I. I can't find someone as dumb as I am.

You're angry? Well so am I.

How about punching you then saying sorry? Or breaking your heart then saying sorry?

Fuck you. I'm so angry with you.

2008-07-17T05:46:00.002+08:00

You'd realise my hair keeps getting shorter. Like my feelings for you.

I SINCERELY HOPE SO. CAUSE IM SO FUCKING PISSED NOW.
I KNOW YOU NEVER PROMISED ME ANYTH, YOU CAN SAY THAT. BUT SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY? CAN'T FIND ANYBODY?

SERIOUSLY.

OH MY GOD! I'VE ALWAYS DEFENDED YOU SAYING YOU WEREN'T SUPERFICIAL. WAS THAT DENIAL ON MY PART?! WAS IT? OMFG.

YOU STUPID BOY. I'M SO GONNA PUT YOU BEHIND ME. CURSE YOU WITH COOTIES. MANY MANY COOTIES. TILL YOU DROWN IN THE WATER CAUSE ALL THE FISHIES TRYING TO GET TO YOUR COOTIES AND REFUSES TO LET YOU SWIM TO THE SURFACE.

Then again. I might be over reacting.

Curse you with cooties still. just not that many. HMPH!

2008-06-29T11:43:00.004+08:00

Leftovers from talentime. WHOO! (:

where fore art thou eyes?! O_O

Freeze-frame for Rachel.

THE NAI NAIS! (:

THE NAI NAIS PLUS YISONG!

Jiao Bin. LOL!

Can't see both our eyes now.
Kudos to Your-Pants-Pull-Die
(p.s. direct translation from chinese)

Jackie hits the Mark with Jessica.

Be going to China soon. Am hugely disturbed by something. PFFFT. And I STILL love being an OGL. Says much, says much.

FTW, Oktober Scare-Fest is in progress. :D It's utterly cool shit, cause we're gonna have an oriental twist to it. Don't be like me, stop thinking about hoppity-hoppity vampires. Think pontianaks, pochongs (wtf, lol), japanese lantern ghost, etc.

Anyone wna come as a freaking orb?

2008-06-21T21:30:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile, again. ((:

I dno, sometimes it feels kinda pointless to blog about things cause most of the time my thoughts or feelings won't make sense to others. Then again, I have to remind myself that the blog should be for me only. So why care about others?! See, nonsensical ramblings again.

The past few days has been a fucking rollercoaster ride. Maths CT was just horrible. That's the only word for it. Horrible. I bet they planned for it to be a bloody massacre so we would wake up from our fucking delusions, and start studying for real. Well, it worked. Damn. ): It was so difficult, I died about a trillion times in a span of two hours. ROAR.

Which brings me back to the very unfortunate point. I simply have not been studying. And I have not done what I promised myself this June holidays. Just looking at the S18 councillors is enough of a tight slap across my face to show exactly how much of a slacker I am. Especially How Sun. No fucking surprise if he gets full exemption and I get fucking retained. Some people got the brains, some people work their ass off. I have no brains, not enough to save my lardy ass and still I'm not working. Damn.

I resolve to do just that; work my ass off, in studies and physically and if I EVER GO BACK ON MY FUCKING WORDS, I won't ever get the chance to be with him. ):

Then, there was that Zhe Jiang games & SSS trial. It really made me miss orientation alot, the feeling of just having fun and not needing to care about anything else. Then it dawned on me that probably, I would never get to experience that again. Oh my goodness gracious moos. ): I guess that many others feel the same way; I still wish PAE never ended. There's so fucking much that I missed about PAE, and the realisation that it'd never happen again, ever, just sucks.

The 28th had fun at games trial though. ((: It was crazy fun because we were all so damn high. And Huai Ching came! And Celisse! I was so damn happy cause it was finally full attendance, in a long, long time. And it made me realise just how much I miss them too. (: Unknowingly of course, since smelly Huai Ching always teases me. And we rocked SSS. Even though they had kick-ass weird songs. There was one that sounded bloody like a funeral song. Wtff.

AND YOU.

I don't know what sort of fucking weird planet you grew up in, but it has never been a crime to curse. Too bad if you don't like it, but that's the sort of girl I am. I'm nothing like you, I'm not gentle, I won't break if the wind blows at me. I'm loud, I'm rough, I'm thick in the waist and I curse in almost every single fucking sentence. So what? I've never done anything to poke you so I think you should get off my back.

AND IF.

you didn't appreciate the advice we offered, so be it. But it was out of goodwill. So you don't suck balls and disgrace yourself over there.

SO.

G.A.L, girl. Stop living in your pretty little bubble and take every fucking thing as personal attacks. One things for sure, I don't fucking care about anything you do. And you don't mean anything to me for me to bother attempting a personal attack on you.

*ROLLS EYES*

Anywaaay, me and TK has promised each other to swim every Saturday. Cool shit. (: Except I'm not exactly comfortable parading my fats around in front of him. Ho hum.

AND! Tommy is coming back! I'm so fucking happy. (((((: I hope he brought me lots and lots of goodies! I can't wait to start fooling around during SC meetings with him and everything. I MISSED YOU SO FUCKING MUCH YOU ASSHOLE! :D

ROAARRRRRR! I dno why I just felt like doing that. LOOKING FORWARD TO HALLOWEEN Y'ALL.

2008-06-16T20:41:00.005+08:00

I was going through the Organic Chem lecture notes at home today, with the ppt slides and all. As I trudged through it, I was moaning about how difficult it is and how I'd be so screwed for lecture test once school reopens.

At one random point of time, LY commented...

"Eh, really very difficult leh. I mean, wth is CPDS?!"

There was that really awkward silence. Then...

my very unglam-but-reflective-of-my-shock-at-her-bimboness/stupidity reaction

LOL! Bloody joke of the day. Her name is censored to protect her identity though. Later she throw SA's face into the kallang river.

p.s:// No, I do not have only three strands of hair.

2008-06-10T08:06:00.002+08:00

Had fun, fun, loads of fun. But fuck, I've not studied. At all.

((: ONE WEEK TO MATHS COMMON TEST, YIPPEEEE! Not.

Went out with celisse, teekai, jasper, junjie, jeremy, gadis and syira. As always, it's super fun to be with them. We watched Kung Fu Panda, and coming from me, it's the best cartoon I've ever watched in a long, long time. So, catch it! (p.s. See, i'm so nice, no spoilers. ((:)

As always, again, behind all these cartoon flicks lies a moral to learn. This time round it's to have that believe in yourself. Super apt, huh?.. We all need some of that some time, especially for losers like me.

We went to play pool after that and I laughed till I literally had muscle aches. Especially when playing with seniors; watching their "awestruck" looks when us noob-lets create "miracles".

Hmmmm.

Council retreat was okay. When I was given the chance to speak, I chickened out and blabbered my way through. =| But, it's okay. At least we gained from the experience. And the movie. And the thrashing out session, sort of.

I STILL DON'T LIKE PLAYING ON THE BEACH. ): My feet were like, raw, after all that running around. So were everyone else's but I just don't like that feeling. So vulnerable. And I was perfectly dry and happy until SMELLY DOMINIC came and sneaked an attack on me. ): From then on, it was a downward and very wet slide. Met a whole freaking bunch of BPians, but nyah, I don't care.

Oh, and we had DURIANS on the beach. Way cool. Syira was the durian opener of the day and she looked like a pro at it. Then Dom came along and the first durian he opened was spoiled. LOL.

Dined at the amphitheatre at Vivo afterwards. Shared food with Desmy and nearly died watching Jeremy devour the beef chilli cheese fries. )):

Headed home, watched Facing the Giants after a short video on Paul Potts. We had the best fun in a group this size since a long while. For once, I could feel it. That we were a team and not seperate strong individuals. And whilst AikSong was giving his speech after the movie and we had that mini rah-rah/pep talk thingy, I really, really feel like I belonged. For once.

I dno if they know, but such moments will always be held close to my heart. Too bad they just don't last forever.

Hohum. I'm happy to announce that at least, I'd be taking helm for my very own baby project. THE HALLOWEEN/MONSTER BALL. ((: I'm super excited. From just a passing idea during the time when we're in Chengdu, to becoming reality, sort of. We just have to do the proposal. And pitch it to, *gulps*, Mr Koh. That's not alot... Right? =X

And I've recently acquired a new machine. Pretty damn happy. SO, anybody know of good girly PSP games? Give me the dips on it. ((:

p.s. the prior post. Walter's response seemed to have been cut off but it was of shock and disgust. AND THE WHOLE DAMN THING WAS MEANT T BE A JOKE. (-____-) Seriously...

2008-06-06T00:17:00.002+08:00

ROARRR! MAPLE'S TAKING SOOOO LONG TO DOWNLOAD. ):

Just something random, as usual.

Showed Walter a photo of me and my ex. I dno why, he couldn't recognise me and he said i'm chio. LOL. Damn funny can die.

2008-06-04T23:14:00.002+08:00

I'M SO FULL FROM SAKURA!

Anyway, I am super bowled over by this email. Fuyohhh! It's like super true lah. Apparently, my birthday tree is the Rowan tree, and these are the traits displayed by people like me.

- Full of charm; Cheerful; Gifted without egoism; Likes to draw attention; Loves life, motion, unrest and even complications; Has good taste; Is artistic; Passionate; Emotional; Does not forgive; Is both independent and dependent

That many were correct. O_O

2008-06-02T06:25:00.002+08:00

I woke up to find myself already awake. If you get what I mean...

It's as if my spirit took a minute or two longer to regain consciousness, whereas my body has moved ahead and regained its function. Like, I meant to open my eyes but, eh! It's already open.

(-__________________-")

Don't think anyone would get me either. Pffft.

I'm rushing out for a morning date with Rachel. She's recently been demoted to SMELLY cause of the lack of interaction thereof. Hopefully she can become bestie again lah. =| I'm such a complicated creature, ho hum.

I had a very nice, surreal dream. Of Chengdu. Of the people we met in Chengdu. Everyone has been saying it was a narrow escape for the few of us who went to Chengdu. It was, indeed, it was. But that piece of my heart I left with the kids over there has been buried with them.

I got to know from someone's blog that the city school - Yu Lin, escaped with only the roof collapsing down on them. A momentary sigh of relief, then I remembered that the kids we knew, or at least I got to interact with, were on the top floor. The kids whom I taught how to sing Moments, were on the top floor.

... ...

The rural school went down. I have no idea how they are doing.

My heart goes out to them and seriously, I want to go back to help them... But how?..

It took me that long.

...

On a slightly lighter note. It's day three, I'm still wounded but I know I'd survive. *grim smile*

2008-05-31T23:57:00.002+08:00

REVAMP!

and once again after the deed, I'm too shag to post anything much. I had a great deal t say, I really did. BUT I'M TOO TIRED NOW!

pffft. ):

Just for fun; wna know what my name means?! :D

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.

You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.

You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

2008-05-25T19:48:00.002+08:00

I'm far from happy and I'm mentally exhausted.

It's been a lost battle since long time ago so why am I still holding on? Why did you have to give me that sort of hope? It's really exhausting, thinking about you, loving you from so far. I want to give up, but I just can't let it go.

Help me, will you?...

2008-05-08T12:59:00.002+08:00

Before I begin... People, I'm perfectly okay. Don't worry that much about me and I won't die so easily so don't even worry about me. Okay! :D

A little bit about the Chengdu trip. The visits to the schools were the best bit, plus of course the theme park. The food was uhm, scary in the least, and super oily. I think alot of us gained weight despite massive diarrhea-ing in China. The toilets there are super scary. Trust me, I didn't even dare to use any other toilets other than that in the hotel, and when I had to go when we were away from the hotel.... Not a very pleasant experience. O_O

I left Chengdu with new friends, with new knowledge and experience, with a piece of my heart still in Dayi with the kids there. I want to do much more than just this. I want to help them make their life better. But in the near future... that apparently is not possible.

Do you know that fried eggs with tomatoes are considered good food to them? Do you know of the distance these kids travel just to reach school? Do you know the condition their classroom is in, and this being one of the "better" schools already..?

The contrast between us and them is so drastic; it makes the average Singaporean kid look like stuck-up idiots who don't know what's good for them and don't treasure what they have.

Some pictures from then.. :D

JS: ROAAR!
Baby stone lion: O.O!

This was during breakfast I think. No idea why. LOL

The kids in Dayi. ):

Panda. Which is kinda dirty in real life, LOL.

Me and Jess. (: Fat face and Skinny face

More dirty looking pandas.
Me and ugly Sour Cream! :D

2008-04-22T19:21:00.002+08:00

It's been a long journey, once again. And I would like to thank you if you've been there for me in anyway, be it moral support, or your votes, or the occasional pat-on-the-backs and "jia you's".

Thank you! And... I love you. ((:

Flying off in approximately 32 hrs. I can't wait. :D Any last minute wishes to fulfill?

p.s. // I wonder if I can make it, I doubt myself sometimes, but I'd think about what you said, and I get the strength to struggle some more. Do you know the impact you have on me...? I'm getting ready to make the final dash. I'm crossing my fingers and praying for the best. Just that tiny sliver of hope.

Here's for you, though it's not that drama-mama yet. (:

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

2008-04-13T19:13:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XUYAOOOO! (:

I did not forget your birthday okay, I remembered! Stupid Walter didn't give me your number lah. Blame him. (:

Studied quite abit today, I'm so proud of myself. I'm quite ready for Chem coming tues. At least won't fail until have to take off my skirt and wave it in the air. But I still need emergency help for some questions. Whose chem is damn bloody good one ah... -___-

Anyway, I think I'm gonna be going to Chengdu after all. It's super ex lah, but... I guess it's gonna be a worthwhile experience. I'm still kinda fed up over some things. Seriously. Like, seriously. *rolls eyes*

I wonder if HE'd come and send me off.

Gonna go do homework. I'm such a bleeeeding nerd. SOS for maths, anyone?

2008-04-06T15:30:00.005+08:00

Goooood morning!

I had a really really happy birthday yesterday, although it didn't start out very well. Hoho. Messages came in at around midnight, but I was too dead to acknowledge them. HOHO.

LY accompanied me t school in the morning. (: Brought a small slice of cake, plus presents! Turns out we arrived in school way too early. I was the only idiot sitting in the canteen for at least half an hour, until Wei Jie and the soccer girls arrived. It's actually kinda freaky, you know. Imagination ran wild.

Followed by that was the VJ event. Bus one sang a birthday song for me, and it was off to rah rah the very dead crowd. But I saw a couple of hot guys and that kinda perked me up a little. Lol, the front row kids got major freaked out by us though. Partnered pretty Aly for the dance. (:

After the VJ event things went downhill pretty quickly. Left for home alone, feeling kinda sian. Then it sort of affected my mood from then on. I was seriously contemplating not going out with Eve and Rachel even though they used "someone" to tempt me lah. That was until Eve hyperventilated/cried then I gave in.

KOREAN BBQ HUH! The two girls cheated me into thinking that we were going for a korean bbq at some high class chicken pie place. AND cheated me into thinking they really forgot to bring e reservation slip. AND cheated me into clomping along in my heels to Eve's house.

Once there, I saw Garrick. Instant red alert flashed through my mind. LOL. Then my grumpy brain registered the balloons and the "korean bbq pit" and I started shrieking about it. LOL.

So yeah, I'd let a few pictures tell the story and I look like crap but I don't care cause it's my first ever surprise birthday party and if you dare to say I look like crap I'd whack your teeth out. ((:

5-star restaurant. LOL.

Rachel, cook-for-the-day/lovely lovely BFF.

Eve/mastermind/lovely BFF/panty-wallet girl. (:

That's me, fat as hell, no idea what I'm doing.

Huai Ching, Christopher; with his head cut off, Benny, and Justin/Jiao Bin.

Jia Cheng, Justin and supposedly Leslie's finger.

Mei Zhu, Michelle and Ling Ling. (:

There were a good number of people around of whom I do not have pictures of. F3'02 OGLs and other OG12 people. ((: Wheee. Thanks for coming, all of you. You made my special day rock even harder. :D

Annnnd.... A sneak preview at my presents. (:

Pooh and family from Xu Yao & Walter. I love love love cushions, hohoho.

Cups, necklaces and shades from OG12. Oddly enough, my house does have a lack in cups. LOL. All these came in a box and they kept trying to freak me out about whats inside the box and I shrieked my head off. Body Shop mini perfumes from darling Rachel. (: Chocolates from Alex and Rena. Small pouch thingy from Dom, super cute. (: And he secretly sneaked it into the box as we were going home so I had no chance to thank him properly. Gah. Smelly boy. Lol. Handphone from my mom; sleek, red-hot sexiness. And the purple thingys below the red-hot sexiness are gift cards for Dorothy Perkins from LY. Love, love!

Mr. Happy Flower from Mark, and Happy Hand from OG12.

Except that... from OG12, things usually are vulgar and Mr Happy Hand, who's supposed to look like this...

Came to me like this...

LOL!

Dorothy Koomson book from LY. (: MUCH LOVES! 'Cause her books are always hell good.

My various assortment of cards. The one that looks like what you'd give your mother came from Dom. 'Cause I'm so super motherly. Ohoho.

This would never have been possible if not for a group of people... So yeah, I'd like to thank all of you.

Eve & Rachel. You guys bore with my temper flip, my sian-ness even though I know you all would like to just slap me 'cause you went through so much for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really love you guys a million for what you did for me. I'm uberly touched.

Yong Qiang. I know what you did for me and I am pleasantly surprised. If anything, I would have never known it was you, since you're always so quiet and all.. Lol. Thanks a million, my dear. I love you. :D

The people in the video in Dom's handphone.. Nat, Peng Tiong, Tee Kai, Gadis, Burp, I-forgot-her-name-suddenly-omg, and others.

Thanks for that funny video. :D LOL. It made me laugh like hell. And what's with the ooh-ah-ah-ah thing? O_o

Dominic, for what you wrote in that card. It means a hell load to me. (:

To Garrick for rallying the O2 ogls, if I'm not wrong. ((: You surprised me too. HAHA.

To everyone else who came, helped, wished me a happy birthday, made my day special in anyway, I love you all and I'd never ever forget my 18th birthday. Thank you, from the bottom of heart.

I'M EIGHTEEN ALREADY, SO OLD!

P.s: Anyone knows who the three cakes came from? O_O I still dno!

2008-04-03T20:18:00.002+08:00

I hate how much I love you, boy. But I just can't let you go..

- SIGHS -

I know i sucked at both rally(s). Seriously, I am in like major self-doubt fest la. I dno why I even thought about running for student's council. J sucks. So don't vote for her. WTF!

I LOVE PRETTY MARKERS.

It's gonna be my birthday soon. Gonna be spending it at a school event. Tough freaking shit luck. Know what's my birthday wish...

It comes in human form. Go figure.

I really wna spend it with ALL of my friends. But.. Yeah. *swallows* Sacrifices. )):

Woe betide me.

2008-03-29T20:41:00.002+08:00

I'm so freaking full I think I'm gonna die.

Camp was so-so, didn't enjoy myself much, didn't lose much weight. But it was a heck of a learning curve, even more so because of the challenges that I had to face. I think I need not have to explain myself regarding some of the more unhappy stuff that happened. All I know is that someone in all circumstances have to play the bitch, and in my case, I had to. So, yeah.. I'm sorry that I had to say what I did, but I'm not sorry for what I said.

I miss him like hell. I love f3 like hell. I need some help with this decision that I have to make. I need to tell him that I love him someday.

Sorry, my dear... I think it's better this way.

2008-03-23T12:01:00.000+08:00

I feel like a shit family head. Sorry, joey maegan and hui yan.

Off to the dentist. See, shit happens. ): I'm gonna die.

2008-03-17T19:33:00.002+08:00

Oh no.

J's so totally supposed to be doing work. O_O

I knew I shouldn't have come online lah. Pffft. I've got 3 tutorials, one whole shitload of class stuff to do, organising of notes etc. WTH! ))): Today totally don't need to sleep already.

You know, I came online because I wanted to blog about something. Which I forgot. -_____-

So to end off on an absent minded note...

S06 I love you guys many many. No thanks for sabo-ing me, but well, yeah. I love you guys anyway! :D

Wth was it that I wanted to blog about? Cheesebuns. Damn irritating.

P.s.// I miss you, darls. ):

2008-03-14T12:39:00.002+08:00

回家的感觉跟在学校时没什么两样..

I'm feeling super duper emo banana today. Woke up to the cling-clang-bang of the house, to the wails of Kayla, to the loud voices of my mum and the stupid bitch. Woke up to the silence of my handphone, to the zero movement on my screen, to the lack of food to pacify my growling stomach.

Ha.. I wish I'm still in school. I'd trade my bed and pillows and quilt for that feeling I always get when camping in school.

A moment of self-reflection.

Humility, J. And to give yourself space before everything else swallows you up. To remember that friends, are FRIENDS. They won't last forever. That love is but a fleeting moment of bliss. That "brothers" change in the blink of an eye. That the world still judges, and that judgement stops only when everything comes to a standstill.

...

That in this world, character or inner beauty counts for shit.

That nothing that you've strived for will ever REALLY mean anything to anyone, but yourself.

...

...

LINE camp passed by so quickly. Honestly, all of us weren't ready for it, at all. Looking at F3 and only F3 at the end of the camp, then can I say that perhaps, they're slightly more ready for CDAYL. I felt like shit towards the end of the camp, cause I sincerely believed what I said before E-web. That the campers could have been better if we were better. Why was it that they didn't run when we ran, cheer when we cheered or got high when we did? What was the problem, the reason that all this happened, I don't know still...

I miss TPY, AMK, and that very cute girl whose name I still don't know. I miss all of them doing the watermelon song. )): Sighs.

CDAYL.. I'm apprehensive.

2008-03-13T22:49:00.001+08:00

When people talk about a certain thing too much, you start believing its real. Until reality catches up and kicks you back to earth, then would you come to your senses.

2008-03-06T22:42:00.002+08:00

I'm really tired, but I had to blog.

This few days has been a rush of mad laughter alternating with emo-ness.

OG12, I seriously love you. And I'm sorry I haven't exactly been a good example. I guess I went overboard with wanting to get high with all of you. Thanks to all my good "brothers", btw. (:

And you. I miss you, like hell, like hell. I've been trying to suppress it. Idk, I'm failing miserably and it tears me apart. I know it's impossible, but I'm still stupidly holding on to hope. I thought I felt something, but apparently not. Damn funny. You're just so near yet so far.

2008-03-01T21:37:00.003+08:00

Wahlao. You tell me what this is? I'm more masculine than feminine!?

Did some personality test thingy. I think it's quite true leh..

You are a Creator

Your imagination, confidence, willingness to explore, and appreciation of beauty make you a CREATOR.

You are independent, and you enjoy your self-sufficiency.

Defying convention, you are very innovative, and you have a vivid imagination.

The look of things is important to you, and you have a keen eye for aesthetic beauty in multiple arenas.

You have a strong interest in what is new and exciting—and that includes forging ahead with new ideas, not simply discovering what is already out there.

Your eagerness to seek new and varied experiences leads you into many different situations.

You're not set on one way of doing things, and you are creative when it comes to finding novel solutions to complex problems.

You trust yourself to be innovative and resourceful.

Your confidence allows you to take your general awareness and channel it into creativity.

You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.

Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

You are Advocating

Being social, empathic, and understanding makes you ADVOCATING.

Some people find being around others exhausting—but not you! You are energized by spending time with friends, and you are good at meeting new people.

One of the reasons you enjoy conversation as much as you do is that you often learn about yourself while talking things out with a friend; you realize things about your own beliefs while discussing them with others.

You have insight into what others are thinking and feeling. This ability allows you to be happy for others, and to commiserate when something has gone wrong for them.

You are highly compassionate, and being conscious of how things affect those close to you leaves you cautious about trusting others too hastily.

Despite these reservations, you are open-minded when it comes to your worldview; you don't look to impose your ways on others.

Your sensitivity towards others' plights contributes to an understanding—both intellectual and emotional—of many different perspectives.

As someone who understands the complexities of the world around you, you are reluctant to pass judgments.

Well, except maybe the last one. I hear an ah lian in the making next door. Wtf?

2008-03-01T19:25:00.002+08:00

OH, WHATEVER.

I've just spent approximately an hour going through the comments on Stomp regarding our *cough* waste of water.

I'm honestly feeling very fed-up after reading the posts and everything. I mean, come on. Whoever posted the pictures up obviously haven't been to our fields on a very hot day. Do you know how hot the tracks and the fields get? They're like made out of synthetic rubber, hello? When the weather is hot, the grounds become scorching and they can literally burn holes in the soles of our feet. My fellow OGL had four holes in his feet after the orientation, you tell me about it. That's one of the reason why we use the hose. Number two, even if you don't give a shit about our poor feet, what about the rest of our body? What about the threat of heatstroke if we don't find ways to cool ourselves down? These are all preventative measures the school has taken up to take care of the students.

Then again, you'd argue. Why water games?

Alright then. What else can we do? Amongst our activities, we have mass dance, night games, a large scale concert, mass indoor games and song singing sessions... Is there anything else that we could have done instead of water games to entertain and orientate our students? Well, if you can come up with a damn good idea, water games can jolly well stop. Until then, shut the fuck up.

Besides, we do practice water recycling after all our wet games, so I don't see what the hoo-ha over the whole issue is about. And fact is, orientation camps occur only TWICE per year, and that's when we have large-scale water games. So whoever that dude is, the one who thinks we have such events throughout the year, I'm pretty damn sorry but you're either high on crack, or very very misinformed.

Honestly, constructive criticism please? Like ideas on how we can improve and everything instead of mindless flaming. Like flaming us would help. We'd probably need more water to put out the flames then. Pfffffft.

My verdict: JJC taking things for granted. Their students and teachers never have to queue up for hours just to get 2 pails of water. mind you it's not for washing never mind the games, bonding or orientation crap.wake up if you're well educated. -Mincemeat

Look carefully at picture 2 see the girl sitting onthe table, look at picture 3 & 4 see the boys crawling uder the table with the girl sitting on the table.

I brought this up bcos someone said that the orientation is a wonderful culture of JJC and is for bonding and character building...
But from what I see the orientation is a Sabo program insulting the boys and wasting a lot of water. It is not abt back luck or what but why must the girls sit on the table??? -Hardtoswallow

bentleydrummle, admitting is nothing (even though jj people have been feverently defending themselves with laughable statements which are sorely lacking in intelligence). What I want is for them to stop wasting water. Dont bring up the whole nonsense arguement about how it is not a waste and such. -Iam_thewalrus

We paid for it = not a justification
Other people do it = not a justification
You are stupid = not an argument
It is for a good cause = not an argument
jjc is fun = so? water?
jjc is the best = you must be blind and can't read the A level rankings

Stop bringing up dead arguments you twits. QQ more -Evawolfe

>>>>>>> Flamming ME? <<<<<<<<<<
Well well, i'm startng too see comments made about me being a stuck-up kid hiding behind the computer blablablabla.. But do you knw that those who said that are actually refering to yourselves! SOME OF U GUYS ARE ALSO HIDING BEHIND UR COMPUTERS TO SAY DOWN ME! stupid people! say people, say yourselves la!
Do these people even have a PSLE cert?

>>>>>>>> Once a YEAR? <<<<<<<<<
From what i see its more than once a year! There are links posted in previous comments to videos in youtubes showing how jjc students WASTE WATER in just a normal birthday celebration!

And you knw what? The video was taken down simple because THE JJC STUDENTS FELT GUILTY! AT LEAST TO SAY THE JJC STUDENT WHO PUT UP THE VIDEO!

>>>>>>>>> Positive Character Building? <<<<<<<<<
HMMMM, i guess theres no more need for Civics & Moral education and other related classes anymore!
Lets all have water-games classes to build our character! WOOO!!!! LETS WASTE WATER PEOPLE! LETS SPRAY WATER PEOPLE!!!

Now i knw how JJC teaches their students positive character building!

>>>>>>> Putting Down JJC Reputation? <<<<<<<<<<
If JJC or even its principal have done no wrong, whatever i say will be useless and considered as nonsense!
But guess what? everyone here are retaliating BECAUSE WHAT I SAID ARE THE TRUE!

One of you guys even say that the pricipal made the comments about indians so as to protect the welfare of students! If indians sitting together are gangsters, thn what about the chinese? Wa, EVEN BIGGER GROUP GANGSTER! the principal is leader isit?

>>>>> A LOT OF WATER? <<<<<<<<<<
For you info, SINGAPORE IS BUYING WATER from other countries! Why? cos we are not self-sufficient and we do not have enough clean water! People who think that how jjc students have used water is correct, i think u guys need to further educated yourselves!

Know why i informed the relevant authority? So when they make a verdit, there wont be stupid people like some over here saying wasting water is alright because we are trying to create bonding and cohesiveness -DonkeyKong

Nevermind the fact that I don't really get what they are saying, like for example, the first comment, but seriously lah. Just look at the comments. (-_____________-") The thing about the guys crawling under the table with girls sitting on top is just funny. *rolls eyes* I can't even be bothered explaining that lah. Like, seeeeeeriously.

To this, Rachel said...

OG 12 ILU! (: says:
nxt yr
OG 12 ILU! (: says:
our banner
OG 12 ILU! (: says:
"yeah we're at it again, so why not get a life"
princess rae is waitin for her prince charming to appear..maybe next life or something says:
ya...haha
princess rae is waitin for her prince charming to appear..maybe next life or something says:
not like we're not payin for the water rite
princess rae is waitin for her prince charming to appear..maybe next life or something says:
n water can be recycled
OG 12 ILU! (: says:
yeah la
OG 12 ILU! (: says:
or like
OG 12 ILU! (: says:
if ure snapping behind e windows, get a life. come join us "
princess rae is waitin for her prince charming to appear..maybe next life or something says:

we JJians should put up a post like
princess rae is waitin for her prince charming to appear..maybe next life or something says:
if u guys want to talk about this issue, feel free to drop by JJC n the OGLS will play a very interestin game with u...
OG 12 ILU! (: says:
LOL
OG 12 ILU! (: says:
OMFG.
OG 12 ILU! (: says:
tts damn funny!
princess rae is waitin for her prince charming to appear..maybe next life or something says:
ya lah
princess rae is waitin for her prince charming to appear..maybe next life or something says:
they deserve it wat
princess rae is waitin for her prince charming to appear..maybe next life or something says:
or the whole JJ population can discuss this issue with u

...

Else, we'd just YEAH all of you. Like, seriously.

OG12, I MISS ALL OF YOU ALR, RAH!

2008-02-29T22:46:00.002+08:00

IM BAAAACK! :D

And, I'm damn shagged. Don't ask me about the head. The head is ok, albeit slightly bumpy. The person is ok, just a little ditzy and uhm, disorientated at times. But I'm ok, I'm ok. Don't let me go down in history as the idiot who fell right at the start of kinetic warfare, ok? -____________-

OG TWELVE I LOVE YOU SO SUPER MUCH, CAN DIE!

Will blog when I'm rested. (: I'm super super contented.

2008-02-24T20:58:00.004+08:00

Hello! This is post #105. Hip hip hurray!

I went to a kelong over the weekends. Let's just say Lady Luck wasn't on my side lah. First, my bait always got stolen from me. Stupid sneaky fishes. ): Not like they tugged on my line or anyth. They just took the bait away. Just like that *snaps fingers*. I didn't even get to fish a stupid catfish. Pfffft. Secondly, I didn't get to enjoy the food. Stupid throat. Thirdly, the whole journey was a whole chain of injuries. ):

I'm damn bloody suay.

Mark's last day in JJC was marked by a sandwich party (lol, the pun :D), so, here are some of the photos. That loser actually cheated me into believing that he was going to stay in JJC. Then when the truth was revealed, it made me cry like hell which made Rach and Eve cry too. -______-

Eve and Rachel. One spastic. One super spastic.

This just looks like Eve was about to feed JiaMin's ear with eggs.

The whole lot of us. Minus me, the photog. :D

Smelly Mark, nice smelling Rachel and Eve.

Mark: I dont want to take a photo with smelly Jess. *looks away*
Meanwhile, Jess squeezes to Mark's side :D

Oh, and I took the plunge. I chopped off my hair. (: Say hi to Jess-Bob.

2008-02-22T14:23:00.002+08:00

zomg. I think I just want to die.

Ladies out there, let me let you in on a secret. You know what's the best way to like slim down real quick? Be a JJ leader. Many many outputs, very little inputs. Yeah yeah yeah yeah! Basket. I'm guessing it's two kilos off my weight now. Not that it's bad lah, but sometimes it gets so bad ah, that i can feel my skin stretched so tightly across my cheekbones, it just feels damn weird and makes me feel anorexic and unhealthy. Pfffft.

Well, this few days have been particularly tiring and really difficult to cope with. Orientation has started; admin days 1 2 and 3 have passed, so has the YOG events and everything. There's so much to say and everything lah, but first and foremost....

CONGRATULATIONS SINGAPORE! (((((:

The night at the Padang yesterday was simply magical. Can't say much about the people in my sector cause they weren't really enthusiastic about the cheering etc, but the rest of the population there; just one word, fantastic. I really wished I was down on the streets doing the ushering though.. ): Would've gotten wayyy higher down there. Standing on the steps is just plain scary lah, omgwthbbq. The steps are so damn narrow, still have to twirl. I keep gripping onto Bernard just so I wouldn't fall. Me and Rachel up there were being bimbos and laughing about every single donkey thing. Super funny. I tell you I can't remember what we talked about, but yesterday was the FIRST time I laughed until my stomach muscles ache lah. We were even dancing to the tune of Moscow's promotional adv. -______-

Even when we were on the bus ah, Rach was being damn bimbo. Seriously. It's either I'm a damn bad influence, or Shu Yee's like a SUPER BAD influence. The conversation went something like this...

Rach: *blabbering about something while I was snoozing*
Me: *grunt*
Rach: *blabber about the window*
Me: *grunt*
Rach: Then later i pull the curtains then he go whoa! (talking about Erwin(?), her dance partner) All the sun. *insane laughter*
Me: *laughs, then grunt*
Rach: *blabbers some more*
Me: Can you stop talking anot! I want to rest. -_________________________-
Rach: *blabbers some more*
Me: -__________-
Rach: *proceeds to fiddle with the curtains and poke her head underneath it*
Me: Wth you trying to do!?
Rach: I want to look outside mah!
Me: -____- WTF. You must poke your head outside meh!
Rach: *laughs and blabbers on* Okay lah, you rest, I don't talk.

By then ah, we were reaching Padang.

We had to run from the place we alighted from all the way to OPH. That's where EVERYBODY can tell that I need serious exercise. Cannot even run properly because of that super big bag. From then on, it was a blur of standing, rushing around dumping bottles or other shit on the seats, rah-rahing people, screaming, doing funny dance moves, lurching and grabbing Bernard, poking him to get him to drink water, moaning about my stinking muscles, bimbo-ing with Rach, laughing with her at other people *cough, spooon, cough*, jabbing her with random flag sticks, boogie-ing with no one in particular, getting dao-ed by the *cough* supporters, getting smiles from random strangers, getting my photo shot, watching the lenses of the camera crack, stuffing lozenges into the palms of my peers and seniors, gulping down water, screaming some more, bimbo dancing with Rach, and getting drenched by the supporters too.

So after the whole thing was over, and the people at my sectors were leaving, something particularly heartwarming appeared. I was helping this group of primary school kids down the steps, holding them at the elbows just in case they fall or anything (p.s: it's a looooooong way down. ROTI PRATA!) Then I was conversing with them mah, ask them if they had fun etc, then one of them actually said this..

"It wouldn't have been fun without all the green people. Thank you ah! You dance very funny."

I stared at the last part. The bugger changed it to.. " FUNNY LAH! But I like what. Thank you ah!" and he scurried off. -_____-

Lol, still heartwarming in the case, at least it goes to show that they are appreciative, even if they don't really participate. Or maybe it's just that we (I) weren't inspirational enough. So after that, we had major fun near the stage, mass dancing and everything. I was looking for Mark at first lah, but I couldn't find him. Then Bi Sheng came along. Boy, did we dance! All the people around me died. LOL. Too high, too obscene. -____- Dragged Rachel and her partner all around. Then we purposely went closer to the stage to laugh at Spoon. HAHAHAHHA! He was actually very high before we started edging towards the stage, with the stupid streamer in his hair and everything. Damn funny. I was watching and laughing and I nearly fell, Bi Sheng had to help me up. We saw Mr Chua dancing alone, so I yoinked Bi Sheng over to dance with him. We reached him, he left. -_________-

BISHENG ILU! :D

Rachel yanked off Spoon's streamer headband. Damn funny. Alex just wanted to die. He walked straight into the high voltage area. Haha. Someone even more power. He blended into the night, walked straight into the high voltage area, and nothing happened man. HE CAME OUT ALIVE MAN! :(

Yeah, the organisers weren't very nice after the event lah. Not my place to say anything and true enough, we might have blocked alot of important people when we sat along the corridors and passed the bags, but honestly, cut us some slack will you? We were super tired, it wouldn't have hurt for us to rest abit. At least, put it in a nicer way. Pffft.

Shan't say much about O2. It has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and I'm starting to wonder whether I'm even fit to be a leader... Honestly, it has been really really difficult, really exhausting, but at the same time really worthed the effort. I don't know. Looking at the faces of my campers, it really brings about a whole round of self doubt and everything. Like, I'm not good enough, so they're not cheering. I'm not good enough, that's why they don't even want to join in the mass dance.... Then I remember, I was like that too even when my OGLS were superb. Too shy, too awkward, too uncomfortable to break out of my comfort zone.. I can only pray now that the situation will have a turn around when camp starts.. I hope. Someone help me. ):

2008-02-14T19:55:00.002+08:00

*waves sickly*

No pictures for today, didn't take any cause...

1) Never bring digi-cam.
2) Never take with handphone's cam cause my memory is overloading. Pfffft.

Anywayyy, Happy Valentine's/Vomit's Day! Whichever it may be to you.

Today was quite uhm, eventful. I guess. Woke up bright and early to start prepping to bring stuff to school. I must have looked quite mad lah, two huge bags of stuff plus my school bag. And Rachel looked even worse. Four bags! Lol, we kinda looked like we're gonna zhao lor. Run away from home.

I'm happy though. They liked my cakes! I ponned on Wednesday just to make the cakes after my mum left for work, and then rush to school after that. I almost didn't make it into school. Got caught at the security point. Was like, shit shit shit. ): Basket lah, heng ________ was there to distract the guard I think, and so helped me. IDK if he did it to help me or what lah, but whatever it is, it got me into school so yay! Thank-you ah.

But this year's Valentine's was a good one for me. Shan't elaborate further. (:

Rachel I love big rose, makes me feel hell royal. :D And the Fleshimp jacket. Wheeeee! My first branded jacket okay, TYVM!

LY I love the clutch lah, and I'd use ok, so don't worry. :D And I dont want letter la. I lazy to write, write same thing anyway!

Bryan, thanks for the chocolate :D Though I can't have them now... I'd recover quickly so I can finish them up. And the flower :D. Pinky can accompany big rose now! Wheeeee.

Shuyee, thanks for your chocolate flowers too. Can't eat now, and definitely didn't expect one from you. Sorry I didn't get you anyth much. ): Hope you had fun with your date though. ;)

Garrick for your balloon. Lol, so random banana but nvm. Me love it very much too. :D

To all the others who gave me sweets and chocolates and everything, thank you very much! You guys made my day damn good, despite being sick like hell. :D

You know ah, the first random victim that we chose to give the lollipops to was Ernest. He was so damn scared he kept backing away lah. Like we got disease wanna come spread to him. Pffffft. Then it was Winston who raised his eyebrows like "omgwthbbq, what are you all gonna do to me.."

...

We got THAT scary meh? -_- At the most kena Handiplast only what.

Then, Bryan couldn't finish his cake cause it's kinda big and he's sick too. Ended up spooning mouthfuls to random people. LOL. -______-" Lesson learnt, no-bake cheesecakes cannot last in Singapore's weather.

Rachel almost forgot her cake. Had to ruuuuuun back to get it. -___-"""

We had pastamania afterwards. Wanted to catch a movie but the queue was ridiculous la. ):

Random, but you know I havent caught all the movies I wanted to see.

1) Kung Fu Dunk
2) P.S I love you
3) Sweeney Todd!

This is getting real bad. ): I wanna watch all of them. Someone bring me can? Please, please, pleaaaaase.

Random tip of the day, have blocked nose don't stuff tissue and leave it there. It'll dry up in your nose.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

2008-02-07T20:33:00.000+08:00

Photos first. P.S// Thank god there weren't dumb customers today. Met Jie Qi (:

These are loooong overdue Sentosa/OG bbq photos. And only a few! There were many many blurred shots of us playing twister.. ): Who the heck was the cameraman/woman? No skill. LOL.

I basically had superb fun that day. Even though the first part at the beach was kinda blah and WL point blank refused to let me handiplast him. ): We played monkey, tried to play volleyball, Mark charged Long into the sea, dragged Eve down, loads of screaming, got stepped real badly on, kena Monkey, screamed for help, cam-whored a little, walked alot, got sunburnt... ZHAOMIAN is super man, he helped me carry my very heavy bag. :D Rachel screamed like hell for me to save her from evil slutty Shannel, and I turned only when she got sand dumped all over her. Damn funny.

My lardy self, Yuting and darling Rach (:

ILU, babe :D

We had to head over to Giant @ Vivo to get more stuff. Talk about sua-ku-ness. Turned out that all the extra stuff; charcoal, hot dogs, butter, sour cream, didn't get used at all. We got fake bubbly that was really yummy. :D I chanced upon an untouched cup later on and promptly gulped it down. Eve and Aly went up to Toys'r'Us to get twister. The damage? $60 bucks. -___-||| And we didn't use the twister much too! Bah.

Talking about twister, Mark's version really rocks. Check out these shots. (:

take one; MARK!?

when fok-adam came about. LOL

Winston, Cherie/Cherry and Desmy crashed the bbq. We handiplast-ed. Damn high. :D I think that was the happiest handiplast session for a long while to come. Btw, people. If you do order food from bbqwholesale, their stingrays, chilli wings and potatoes are a must get. Superbly nice!

Sheldon, Yuting, Aly, Linda, Chast.

CNY celebrations at school was partial fun. Jessica was super high, esp. during mass dance until some petty, emo-ing, loser of a stranger rejected her. Haha. I've come to love mass dance many many! Now whenever I hear one of our mass dance songs, it's automatic Shake mode. (: The yusheng sucked, though. Handiplast kinda sucked too. Everytime we sit on the track ah, they start playing with the synthetic rubber seeds. -___-|||

P.P.S// Sorry Eve. ):

Then, we lunched at Pizza Hut afterwards. Me and Rach went on a singing binge, the guys gawked like we suddenly transformed into Ogres. All of them were really tired anyway, and to prove my point... Look at Sheldon!

The poor bugger's eyes were like slits and he had to beg Eve not to use flash to save his poor eyes from further torment. Snorts. We talked about ghostly stuffs, Mark got really freaked by my stories and he fell off his chair, Eve screamed at the shocking one, Sheldon tried to destroy my punchline, that asshole. (: I'm still the QOGS after all, ohohoho. Zhao Mian tried to stab me when I offered him a hug, Sheldon haggled for a kiss from Rachel, Mark was damn funny, had a slice of pizza, don't know who my angel is, I love Rachel, wanna go KBOX, and Zhao Mian tried to stab me.

So there, stop saying I don't blog. Haha, this mega post is to make up for the lack of posts the past couple of weeks. And hey, I've been busy okay! ): Very very busy... Gawking at Wu Zun. LOL. Lots of love people, and happy CNY!

2008-01-24T10:25:00.000+08:00

It's strange how I was freaking out so badly last night, but am strangely calm, and reflective now. It's less than four hours away. It's less than four hours away, and perhaps it might signal that the beautiful start of 2008 might indeed come to a close for me, but I've decided, and I would.

I'm gonna pull through this, with all that confidence, and that positive attitude that JJ has imparted to me.

Thank you, for all who gave me such encouraging messages. (: You've made my morning wonderful.

Thank YOU, for being so concerned. You won't know how much it means to me, for today.

Thank you, OG4. For once, I'm really, really happy, and contented with my lot. And it's because of every single one of you. Thank you, OGLs, for being my inspiration, and for helping me break away from my comfort zone.

Thank you to each and every one of you who contributed somehow, to making me the better me that I am today, when compared to last year.

I'd pull through. And Rachel, come what may, I'd always be there for you. I love you. (:

2008-01-21T19:27:00.000+08:00

Results on Thursday, countdown to doomsday, how much hair do I have left on my head? ): I'm honestly freaking terrified, and I bet with anyone who would bet with me that I'm gonna be like a 20 pointer.

Been trying to teach Kayla how to say "Ang Bao"; she can only go "BOMB!" very enthusiastically.

Lots of homework, several insane teachers, countless meetings and trainings and what-have-yous makes a very unhappy and tired Jessica. Worst still, Jacq Jacq is so bent on pon-ing. Now, got no buddy to slack with. I'm ultra, uber, deliriously miserable.

I'm craving for sushi; who can be so very nice and treat me... ):

Things to look forward to:

1) Revelation (:
2) Leader's Meeting tomorrow
3) Watching Sweeney Todd, that Fann Wong show, and that Jay Zhou show!
4) Valentine's
5) A very very possible new phone. *crazy grin*
6) CNY celebration @ JJC :D

YAYYYYYYYYY!

2008-01-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

You used to be all it takes to brighten my day at school. Now, you just make me want to kick the general male population in the balls.

Thank you, for showing me exactly how shallow you are. So at least, it's no longer my loss, but yours.

Goodbye, finally.

2008-01-16T21:48:00.000+08:00

My god, my foot/ankle/tendon on my foot hurts like a bitch.

I'm now a student leader @ JJ, yay! I'm still unable to resist sleeping during lecture. I miss rach like hell, I miss long like hell, and I miss OG4, all of you, like hell. ): I'm super miserable in my class la, honestly. They are all so cliquey! I mean, if the system wants us to meet new friends, shouldn't each and every single OG be thoroughly seperated? It's kinda... Unfair, for us shit heads who aren't in your OG, who are now outcasts just because of that.

Pfffft. Nevertheless, JJC is still fun! At least I still have dearest Rach to get high with me. (:

Won't be blogging much, I barely have enough sleep to last me my school days and I havent had the chance to sleep in! But I will blog when something interesting comes up or if I need to vent. Else, see you guys around!!!!

OG4 BBQ on sat, I can't can't can't wait! :D

2008-01-05T16:44:00.000+08:00

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOO! :D

I'm back from JJ and I'm telling you, I love JJ with every single fibre of my body and every inch of my soul. Tubby wasn't kidding, it really is F-U-N!

I'm super super tired now, the orientation camp was absolutely crazy but one heck of a riot. I love the wet games, the mass dances, the cheers (-___-"), the food, the OGLs (omc, I love you guys like heck!), the seniors-i-forgot-what-they-are-called, and last but not least, my darling darling OG mates!!

To the STC girls, thank you, for being the first to talk to me at the camp, and to YT for dancing with me. (: Rachel, for being so ~~cute~~ adorable and funny, and for being a really good bitching partner. I loved the second night when we slept near each other, you really were hilarious. YT too. :D

Anna, for being so much like a sister, even if you aren't as touchy-feely as I am. But I don't care! Even if you're still not gonna return my hugs, I'm going to continue showering you with them 'cause I heart you! (: YAY! And, thank you for bearing the food with me. ((:

Ms. Teo, for being willing to share a shower with me, you gorgeous minx.

Chastine, for being willing to share one with me too, and for being so much like an elder sister, and in more ways than one, for taking care of me, pulling me along when I'm blind blind in the field, and for making sure I don't fall and die. I heart you too, babe!

To Adeline/Adelaine (don't know which is which, I'm referring to the shorter one...) for being so sporting despite of your inconveniences and returning every morning. Thank you.

To Long, for being supportive and uber sporting. (: And for that really cute but weird cheer. And for saving me from muffin tops. ^^

To Zhao Mian, for being super super taoyan! :D

To all the rest of you lovely bunch of people, thanks for being my OG mate and I'm uber glad to have met you.

To all the OGLs; Sheldon, Bryan, Yong Cheng, Webster, Linda.

I cannot say how much you guys have inspired me. But I can promise you this. One day, when you're back in JJC as part of the alumni, or as facilitators, I can assure you, that you'll be proud to see what you've inspired me to be. Thank you, all of you, so very much. The orientation couldn't have been that fun without each and every one of you. (: I LOOOOOVE YOU!

2007-12-24T00:41:00.000+08:00

Boy, I'm tired and my armpit smells like yam paste. HA!

Worked at the G/C today. Had to do stupid cocktail reception and now my left arm hurts like a bitch. Met Pan Peng(?) there though. (: Worked with really nice people today, that aunty and Yi Heng (?). I'm kinda proud of myself; I did almost everything on my own. The managers were mostly pms-ing bitches. K bitched about my skirt length (I can't help it if I'm tall and I like my skirts short, F.Y.I), A bitched about babies and pepper suckers (ha, inside joke), K bitched more about babies and pepper suckers... ... Ahhh, they were just being really bitchy.

Besides, they're offering $8 for holidays. $8?! M/bites offering me $9.30, thank you very very much. Stingy old M/bites offering a higher pay, and the work loads so much lighter. G/C? Kiss my lovely sagging ass.

Anyway, the table of people I served today were wine guzzlers. Bottles and bottles of wine. And they wanted to self-serve too. Wtf is the point of having servers when everyone wants to self-serve, you tell me? *rolls eyes again*

Think I'm gonna stop banqueting. The extra one dollar or so is not worth the trouble, time and distance.

XOXO (:

2007-12-22T02:31:00.000+08:00

Meant to blog loads and loads.

Too shag. Now. Catch ya all soon.

XOXO

2007-12-13T21:34:00.000+08:00

Internet's been down, can't update as much.

You who wants to get my spirits down, have not succeeded. Try again. And... Try harder will you; your comments are so dumb/imbecile-ish/BAH!, they're making my eyes roll over and over and over again. Besids, have you nothing ELSE to pick on except my weight. It's kinda boring you know. Tsk, tsk. Not an ounce of creativity, is there?

(: lots of love, people.

P.s: Who's going to JJC? I am!! XD

2007-12-08T23:47:00.000+08:00

It's funny how long these six days have felt. It feels like eons since my last post.

I've been dying because of work; crazily long shifts, crazy mood swings and even crazier lies.

I've fully recovered from my physical wounds, and have since attained newer ones. And the craziest thing is that these wounds, hurt so much more than the physical ones. I feel exactly like Dao Ming Si (meteor garden 1) right now. Trust is the issue but how am I supposed to give you that?...

It's funny how you show me mixed signals all the time, lie all the time, and still expect me to trust you. That you can, stare at me straight in the eye and ask me to trust you. How to? Can you fit yourself with a lie detector and let it light up with a bang everytime you lie?

And how is it that everytime you do the thing you do, you can make it seem so much like my fault? Or rather make me feel like its so much like my fault? Whenever you do what you do, I can't help but ask myself why, and what it is that causes you to do so; ultimately, it boils right down to me. Too fierce, controlling, possessive, inadequate, unsatisfying. Me.

I'm starting to feel distinctly like my mum, whom I've had a penchant for lying to when I was young. Is this karma? Retribution? I'm afraid so. I'm feeling exactly the way she felt previously. I know how you would feel cornered if I were to tell you that I feel like the root of your obsession with lies; I was in your shoes once after all, but it is the very fact.

I love you like heck, and have come to love you more than ever since PLT, but knowing you've not broken the habit leaves my heart fucking cold. It's just a small issue, a small little lie, but lies snowball and they go out of control. I wouldn't have screeched at you for being where you were; more like I'd nag a little but I was honestly fine with it, but still you couldn't bring yourself to tell me about it.

In all honesty, given the way you sulk and grumble if I go out with my friends, you behave exactly like me. You perform checks on me. Checks! If you see the need to, why can't you return the favour and just let me know? Why can't you stop being so mysterious about who you hang out with and lessen my insecurities? Is it none of my business; that I do not have the right to care?

We've gone through this issue so many times, I can't even count them with my fingers and toes. Each time, I want to break away from it, vow not to talk to you again, and switch my phone off in a huff. And each fucking time, I on it again, like a fucking spineless bitch, waiting and waiting like a dingdong cow for your message and call. Spineless. Useless. All too willing to give it a go again, hoping you'd change. And each time I give you the chance to patch up our relationship and my trust in you, all too willingly you break it.

That pain, that disappointment, is so suffocating. It's wrapping its iron fist around my not so slender throat, choking me; it's leaving me gasping for air. I've given you a choice, and I think you've made it clear enough that it's not me. As much as it hurts, as much as it leaves me washing my tear tracks with more tears, as much as it leaves my heart ripped apart in pieces, I'm respecting your choice. You said you love me, so I guess they were all lies.

I'm letting you go.

I'd learn how to, and I'd make it through... With or without you.

~~Sarang hae yo.~~

2007-12-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

How come these days just feels so blank and dreary?

Went to the beach with LY, Clarissa and San San. Had moderate fun, cam-whored alot, gawked alot, got roasted as usual... Bah. Had a really sore shoulder because of the bloody bag. Think the next time I'd hit the beach is five years down the road. When I'm slimmer. *rolls eyes*

Photos! Shan't tag or anything, am really lazy. I particularly like some of these shots. They were taken by a great photographer. :D

So ends the day at the beach.

2007-11-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

How do you know he loves you...

Chick flick of the month: Enchanted.

Highly recommended, why?

1) The Disney typicalities are all present. The first part really, really brought back a rush of nostalgia for me. :D

2) Patrick Dempsey is the star, GRINS!

3) There's a lovely twist to the story that I really love *rolls eyes*.

4) The Prince Charming is kinda cute but is an utter himbo.

5) The songs are nice and happy! :D "I've been waiting for the true love's kiss!"

6) The underlying message about love depicted in this movie is uhh.. really impactful? If you watch and understand and can read between the lines, you will get what I mean. It's not just a mindless movie like *coughs* Saw (1234)

7) And again! There's Patrick Dempsey. *puddles*

2007-11-21T00:48:00.000+08:00

I'm in a phase of my life whereby I just don't know what to do.

Polytechnic? Work? JC? If then, which one? Don't want PE lessons, even if the teacher is hot. Don't want to look like a balloon in JC.

On a positive note, I'm shedding my pounds, woo-hoo! The Queen's recently-turned-awful food deserves credit. That, and waking up too late therefore skipping breakfast. *rolls eyes*

Plus, I can safely say now that I'm half-glad I didn't make it to prom after all. The pros still outweigh the cons, but if I did... Let's just say it'd be a bit of a fashion faux pas. 'Cause someone was dressed and made-up almost exactly the way I planned. Curls, wrap, dress, accesories... Plus she definitely looks better than I would have, so it's a double plus not to have made a fool of myself.

K-BOX called for an interview, should I?

Questions, questions, questions........

2007-11-16T16:51:00.000+08:00

I'm so freaking jealous. I wished I was at Prom too. ): Was the food good? Was it fun? Fill me in okay?

The operation is over, I'm feeling decent albeit the occasional pain and everything. Sitting in the operation theatre waiting to hop onto the bed felt very surreal.

It took 8 deep breaths of that foul smelling gas to knock me out. At the 8th breath, everything turned black, the room faded into silence and all that was left was a ringing in my ear. An awkward sort of peacefulness. I think, that's what death feels like.

2007-11-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

HELLO! I'M BACK! (:

I've been back for very long lah, just procrastinating and being a lazy bitch. Besides, there hasn't been anything worth to blog!

I've been sick; liver infection plus a congested bile duct/liver duct, whatever. Was deposited into the hospital for nearly a week, took my O's there, was off food for five days, lost 7 kgs, had my poor hand swell to the size of a blown-up plastic glove... Oh, and had two consecutive nuclear bombs bunking next to me. OMC, their farts ah... I had a little insight into a diabetic's life. Their hypo-count thingy is the pits man. I hate it like anything. ):

(I think I gained back some of the weight lost anyway omc.)

Having this problem sucks, big time. There are SO many foods you can't eat, and with my mum (though it is out of concern), a foodie like me gets majorly fucked. ): No more fatty food ever. And I haven't even had Island Creamery, haven't had Giraffe's, haven't had Fish&Co... The list extends. ): ): ):!!!

Anyway, seems like the surgery has been pushed back and I can go for the prom! Shopped with Li Ying today to get the remaining stuffs; shoes, a shawl, accessories. I have to say, I'm REALLY satisfied with this shopping trip! :D 满载而归. Had enough to spend without worrying about costs, o-ho-ho-ho. And I'm like, damn happy I'm born with an inner fashion goddess despite lumpy exterior shell. :D

Hoping very much prom would rock. Bye world, I have to devote my time to working now to save for SO many things in December.

2007-10-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

To the teachers.
though you might never see this.

Mr Ong: I want you to know that I love you very much for salvaging my once-very-disgusting chemistry marks. I am darn happy to have had you as a form teacher and chemistry teacher and I'll never ever forget you. <3 Superman! Underneath that thunder-black face, I know you truly care and I'm entirely grateful for that. (:

Mrs Teo: You sound utterly like my primary school English teacher and every time you speak, you bring back an entire vat full of lovely memories for me. You're one of my favorite teachers in TWSS and despite knowing you for only a short period of time, I find and know you to be an absolutely wonderful and patient teacher. I've had fun in your lessons! (:

Mdm Phua: Just 6 words. The teacher with the biggest heart. I love you!

Mdm Mary: U DASH V DASH! (: The funniest and best Maths teacher ever! Your lessons are always such a blast. If it weren't for you, I'd probably have given up Amaths too, so you're another one who saved my potentially disastrous marks. I love you too!

To all other teachers: Thank you so much for the effort you've put into nurturing me into what I am today. You're unforgettable! Mrs Foo, you're so uber cute! :D

To my lovely classmates.

Limei/Limin/Zoe/Qurratu: I'd never ever forget that hectic rush for Teacher's Day preparations. :D I love all of you. Cutie-pie Qurratu and her funny funny reactions, sunshine-y Zoe for never failing to brighten up my day, sarcastic Limin and that super funny eye twitch, and lovely Limei for just being you! (and your whisk! and Chelsea and Chester!)

Keith: Funny old man you. You're a very interesting young man and you never, ever fail to tickle my muttons! And thanks for your nutella power-wiches. :D And for being so sweet. Remember that time when you sms-ed me? Remember what you promised yourself in those few sms-es, don't let you yourself be your own Achilles' heel. 加油！

Pei Fen: Thanks for just being there. (: And bearing with grumpy Jessica.

Zhao Jing: For allowing me to bully you so often and bearing with my nonsense, you deserve an uber big hug. Even though you really drive me nuts at times, you've made it into the list of the unforgettables! I think I might even miss your nonsense in future, lol.

Zhao Jie/Ching Rong/Hui Xiang: You bunch of jokers. I'd miss you guys too. Ching Rong, stop fish-balling me and return me that pair of shorts. Zhao Jie, return me my cap! Lol. And for the love of God, stop dota-ing. At least for now la, okay!?!

Linhtet: You dirty little fellow! I'd never forget you too! :D The way you'd always be so anal after your exams and bug me about them, the jokes we shared in class and everything else. I look forward to meeting you ten years down the road as Dr Jessica, and you, as Dr Maung/Muang.

Pei Xuan: I hate you. For being so good at Maths. I love you, for being an excellent classmate for the past few months. (: All the best to you, m'dear.

Puvan: Mr super-funny, rock-hard abs. HA!

The rest of you: 4D/2007 has been and will always be a memorable class for me. From the teachers to each and every single one of you, all of you have played a part in making my only year in TWSS the best year throughout my secondary school life. I love all of you for making my year such and enjoyable one and for being so tolerant towards me. (: All the best to each and every single one of you in the O's.

Love, Jessica.

The year is at it's close, let's fight whilst we still have the chance to. ATW!

2007-10-05T19:39:00.000+08:00

I believe that this is the fourth post for the day. [Post binging is tiring. ):]

I woke up this morning to a very noisy environment. The neighbor's kids were screaming like banshees, the Queen as usual, talking at the top of her voice, and the TV blaring it's programs at maximum volume.

However, there was just that moment of silence, when everything else in the world seemed to stop at a standstill. Lying there on my bed, snuggling in the warmth of the quilt, staring up at the darkened ceiling; just keeping perfectly still and contemplative. Perfect.

I wish there's many more of such moments to come in the future. Life's so hectic and a bleeding rush, that these silences become a rarity and oh-so-hard to come by.

I'm down to my last 2 episodes of CCS. Hopefully, there won't be any other distractions. The O's are breathing down my neck! Till then...

I'd want to just take your hand and runaway, hide in some corner and hope we'd never be found, just so I can have you to myself. I say I don't mind, but I do. I want to have you to myself, but I can't and I won't be that selfish, and so I'm walking away from you, my addiction. I know it's totally unfair to you, might just be me letting my thoughts run wild. But it's safer this way, I guess. I don't want that sort of disappointment to cloud over me, ever.

I love you, I'd miss you, I'm saying goodbye.

2007-10-05T02:01:00.000+08:00

I'm on a post binge.

Goodnight, world.

2007-10-05T01:23:00.000+08:00

Ok, I've just decided my previous post is shit.

You know something I really, really hate about Singapore?

It's too fucking small for it's own good.

Too fucking small to cover up the tracks of a disgusting past. It's like constantly washing a plate. When it seems to be finally clean, the bacteria still lurks and it's gonna multiply until it explodes in your face.

Like how a primary school big mouth ends up to be the acquaintance of your boy's ex-tangly-messy personnel. Like how your secondary school friend ends up to be a cousin of a celebrity blogger.

It's mind-boggling, it is. And I hate it with a vengeance.

I haven't been studying. Why should I lie about that? Why would you think I'm lying about that, and why would you even care?

Pretentious, people are. They ask and probe, but all they really want to do is to bring you down.

Besties, on a superficial level, but watch how that tongue wags when the other half is missing.

Vindictive. How many truly loves in this world, and how many really deserves it?

I've been a shitty person, my past has always been tangled with trouble and notoriety. So, how long will it be till I have my own clean slate from life? Not now, not ever.

I try to convince myself that I won't care what you think, and maybe I really would someday in the future. For now, just fuck off and leave me alone. I'd rather not to be judged. I'd rather not be your fool.

Why do appearance matter that much?

What gives others the right to be condescending towards the inferiors, and what gives them the right to judge?

Man, blessed with intelligence yet so stupid and superficial. Heard of wars between monkeys? Heard of hatred between the lions? World peace. How will that ever be attainable, when Humans are such?

What marks the history of the world? Greed, lust, hunger for power. War.

Judgement.

I'm jumping from topic to topic, and I still don't make any sense. Make sense for me. Tell me why should I care what they think.

2007-10-05T00:04:00.000+08:00

How many of you know what Chernobyl is?

Liying was over at my house today, and she told me about the entire thing. It happened long ago, before any of us were born. Just listening to it was enough to make anyone feel heavy hearted. She had to go get this video for me to watch though, and it really, really tugged at my chordea tendinea (SP?) .

P.s.// Oh, the catch-of-the-week sounds really dia! Like she's actually dripping with honey. WHAT IS THIS! She was on the cover of the FHM *cough*, and she still needs to diet? What is this, banana lah!

will you be mine, to love and to hold?

2007-09-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

Ohoho, just for fun! I'm bored and procrastinating.

Instructions:

The "Tagged" has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Specify the gender of the target. Tag 7 of your friends to do this meme and leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. No back-tagging! (:

Gender of your choice: Male (For now.)

1) Has to be taller than me, and older. Oh yess, I <3 older men. Cut-off height would be about 173? That's like one cm taller only and a bit pointless but... AT LEAST I WON'T TOWER OVER HIM IF I WEAR HEELS!

2) Definitely has to be a one-girl man. Stray and I'd snip!

3) Has to treat me like a princess, of course. Moi loves being pampered, you know?

4) Has to share SOME of my loves. Like food? Type of shows? Etc, etc. It's interesting to be with your polar opposite but it gets weary.

5) Must be patient! Especially important since the potential girlfriend is a crazy psychopath who is insecure about everything and constantly needs reassurance and whose temper is asdfgh-ingly bad!!! *phew*

6) Bravery/Stupidity. Thrown in so he knows not to reject my offering of love, i.e. food. But aiyah, who will die from eating my food! I is domestic goddess, I is good cook, won't die!

7) He must be able to offer intellectual banter from time to time. Ok, not intellectual banter per se, just interesting conversation. Otherwise I'd be utterly bamboozlish-ly bored.

8) He must be an honest chap. Simple as that!

... AND NOT LOOK LIKE SHIT!

Tagging: Li Ying, Daniel, Xue Zhi, Elinny, Zoe, Li Mei andddd Li Min!

2007-09-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

Hello! Did you guys miss me?

I miss school. ): Haven't been there for an odd week or so, and I'm crazily bored. *flops on my bed like a jellyfish* Stupid, bloody gastritis. The list of don't/can't-eats just grows and grows and grows. Now even tea is on the list! All my citrus fruits, any form of caffeine. You know that includes chocolate!?

I mean...

How can any girl LIVE without chocolate? That's just insane and I'm gonna ignore that.

Submitted to the pain on Wednesday night, went to the hospital and stayed there till Thursday morning. I was being stubborn about it prior to the Wednesday night attack; didn't want to go and "waste money", but it got too bad. Had to yell for Tubby, who took me to a GP, watch me get a butt shot and turn red. Xue Zhi came along halfway. Friends. (: *huggies* So, the Queen gave a hellish tongue-lashing about going to the hospital and all that and we got into another row, she gave me warm milk, and it immediately got SO bad, I had to be catapulted to the hospital. I honestly think I blacked out once or twice because of the pain, woke up with a jolt and didn't know where I was and all...

There was this bitch at the A&E called Cynthia, and holey moley cow, she deserves to be dunked in smegma. Don't wanna dive into that now, NOMB. But, she's soooo bitchy. Honestly, if I was a nurse on duty that night, I would have stuffed a bunch of bananas up her banana pie-hole.

Right; hot photo of the week, Natasha ANTM cycle 8...

So, last night, another attack threatened. The Queen decided that she wasn't gonna bring me there. The Boyfriend was called in instead. One of the rare few chances he got to stay over. *beams* Even though the pain was a bitch, the heart was in confusion and turmoil, I was reeeally happy to have him there. It's just comforting. :D Woke up this morning with a very insane craving for doujiang&youtiao. [One of the best combi-s ever, yeah?]

...

...

This whole incident; I never really knew what to do or who to trust. I mean, do you trust your once-unfaithful-but-now-changed boyfriend less than your boyfriend's not-so-dirty-ex-lover? All I know for now, is that I'm ready to just let myself go and follow what my heart says, for the last time. Even if it means I get hurt in future.

2007-09-24T17:05:00.000+08:00

It's over, at least.

It's like letting down a piece of stone, a heavy load. And it feels better too, I guess.

2007-09-23T23:02:00.000+08:00

OMG, I need to puke. Not a personal attack, I really need to puke.

I'm in a moany mood, listen to me moan.

I've been to the stupid monkey tree thingy @ J.west. Only the monkey tree is credible, the rest were like, gah. I didn't feel that it's right to sneak a shot; don't want to offend anything. But the amount of people congregating around the trees were a little crazy. Trees, baby, trees! -_-" Pfft.

I don't know what's triggering today's attack, it's not exactly painful but I'm feeling veeryyy queasy. Seasick, carsick, my bonnie lies over the oceaaan... Okay, I'm getting incoherent but you get the drift. Just... bleargh.

I've reflected too, just so you know. I know I went over the board with the insults and criticism, but I don't think I should feel bad about it. I've thought through each and every single word I said, whether online or on sms, and I don't think they're false, or accusatory, or any other bull.
She's invited me to a confrontation, LY says I should go, I think I shouldn't go, LM says I should go, I still think I shouldn't go, but I've agreed anyway. If you hear of a murder case @ lot1 tmr, you'd know who.

random blythe doll.

I destroyed my diet a little today. It's not everyday I get to eat my beloved prawns. Maybe that's what triggered my attack. Hmm...

I am a lucky, lucky shit-head. On top of the makeup and brushes, I've got a new computer chair. Red. THANKS BABYYY! *swivels around happily*

Oh, and the makeup is really kinda cool. Frankly speaking, I was expecting something uhhh... of a lower grade, but it really is of quite a good quality! Blend-able, and the colors are all kinda bright and cheery and refreshing. Don't know what I'd do with the brushes though. Bloody impulse buy. :X

Stomach's convulsing again. I'm gonna have sore abs tomorrow.

=( Anyone have any good anti-nausea remedy to recommend? It sure would come in handy...

p.s.// more about the Blythe Dolls sometime soon. :D

2007-09-22T21:41:00.000+08:00

My stomach is seriously warped. I'm glad though, even if I can't gorge on my favorite foods. I lost weight! Hurray, Limin and Liying! (:

Clarissa had a cut on her head yesterday. Fretted like a crazy witch and sent her to the doc's immediately. The damage? $32. On top of that, the Queen isn't talking to me, and I'm grounded for the rest of my cheesebun life. Asked me to move out too, again. I jolly well would. Soon.

I'm proud of myself though, I've completed my filing and my 100000000+ pieces of homework is just singing in the corner, their voices as melodious as a banshee.

Dan, thank-you. (: You're the sweetest, and I'm sorry I'm behaving like an insecure bitch, as always.

Make-ups coming over tomorrrrrow! Can't wait. :D

Men, Jerks, Scums.

2007-09-15T18:48:00.000+08:00

I saw this comment on somebody's blog regarding plastic surgery.

Women beauty or not, below are all the same, why worry so much?

Bloody MCP. I mean, seriously. The only reason why a woman would want to get plastic surgery is to look better than she did before, and for whom? Guys, damnit! If guys weren't that obsessed with cellulite-free, long-legged, doe-eyed & sexy chicks, girls will willingly want to go under the knife meh? Siao. Subject our body to all the pain for what? If guys think less with their organs and more with their brains, and actually go for inner beauty, girls have to resort to this meh? Then if women are really all the 'same', why do you think the Geylang babes are all bamboo poles?

Stupid, superficial and brainless scums. Think before you talk.

...

...

Moving on from that, Jessica is gonna be a health-nut from now on. I'm sick of comments, sick of the judgement, sick of the self-loathing.

There's still biology on Monday. I haven't TOUCHED my holy book. I've lapsed into a i'm-so-bored-i-don't-want-to-do-anything state. There's actually plenty to do though, the room, biology, photos to file away, play with crazy Clarissa...

I'm particularly feeling lardy. ):

I wanna bake, but the mixer is down.

GRAR!

I wanna cuddle up to someone but he left. I know, I understand, but I still want to.

I just woke up, but I'm feeling sleepy again.

Times like this, what would you do? I'm desperately craving a hot cup of lemon tea and lots of loving, or bitching with Tubby. Have none. ):

*moans*

2007-09-14T09:50:00.000+08:00

Have you watched the incredibly entertaining Britney VMA performance? Sarah Silverman in there was funny but incredibly bitchy though.

I think I should learn how to mind my own business. From now on.

p.s// She really should have fired her hairdresser. God-awful. I'm not going to pick on her for uhm, stuffing herself in that outfit; she's had two kids after all, but her hair... Oh god, her hair. *dies a cross-eyed death*

2007-09-14T02:06:00.000+08:00

Hello! *beams*

I'm actually up because of my lovely back and my lovely maid. I'm so fucking pissed. I'm like blatantly awake and she off-ed my radio when I was tuning into Muttons@Midnight. Idiot. So now, I'm up blasting songs on my iTunes and I'm gonna go play some games that boom and shriek and wail later. Just to annoy her. Idiot, my room okay? You don't mess with me in MY room when I'm listening to THE muttons, and expect to sleep well. I'm totally going to wake her up early too. That ASDFGH.

You know, on top of that, she has taken to crumpling all my freshly made notes. Which pisses the fuck out of me and she THREW my bag across the room just earlier on tonight. Threw. My. Bag. Which. Had. Electronic. Devices. In. It. Across. The. Room. And, she partially destroyed my iPod too. So cool. [p.s.// Oh goody, she's flipping around in her bed cause I'm typing too loudly! Yay, shall type louder.]

I've tried to be nice but this, is IT. I'm not going to sit around and let her ENJOY life any longer. Seriously. She is totally gonna get fired. SOON! And, good riddance, thank-you very much.

The prelims are almost over; the last leg's biology. Had the Brains over at my house now. I'd never get used to Lutenising Hormone's way of teaching, albeit its undeniable effectiveness. Didn't manage to accomplish much either, we were all wiped out from the earlier papers.

Next week's gonna be terrible, I just know it. Someone prep a box of tissue for me?

<50 Days to O's people, ATW!

2007-09-04T21:18:00.000+08:00

Dearest,

It's almost 3 whole years. I really am thankful to have you by my side throughout these years. It's hard for me to put things into words, but just know this, I really love you loads.

Thank you for being there for me, whether rain or shine.

XOXO

2007-09-03T21:49:00.000+08:00

Dear Evaporating,

How can I not blog when there's this...

and this...

AND this...

AND THIS...

ANNNNDD THIS!!!

Would have been a total sin, right? Aren't you half-glad I blogged? (:

Love, Melting.

P.s. // Bio Practical was fine. (: Hwang totally caused me to have this look. Lol :D

2007-08-31T21:27:00.000+08:00

Home from Hairspray! The show is deliriously good; please watch if you possess boobs, gives you like what, repeated adrenaline/sugar rushes. Zac Efron is SQUUUUEEEE~ Can't get the image of him winking out of my mind. I'm a fucking convert; shall never secretly roll my eyes at any Zac-addicts ever.

AHHH. Ok, now the show's reduced me to surfing zac's pictures like a little pervy. Murhur. Tidbit for you, m'dear?

SQUEEEE! Lol, John Travolta just gave me the creeps though. Everytime he comes on screen, I do a secret little dive under my jacket. Scary.

... Something shitty just happened. Frustrated. Shan't go further.

Limei, Zoe, Qurratu, Shahirah, Liying, you brighten up my day. <3

2007-08-29T14:31:00.000+08:00

Some bitch in my salad is trying to "bitter" me to death. I bet it's the damn cucumbers.

Recently, I've been pensieve, reflecting on myself. Another one of those cumbersome days of endless self-reproach and grumblings, and self-whacking on the head. I guess, all I'd have to say is this...

No, I don't think I'm too fierce. If you really think so, so be it. It's beyond my care. When all's well and done, it's only going to come back to this. After the year, I'm moving on. It won't matter anymore. So, I shan't care. *Cough* It's true that I feel that he's -beep-; give me reasons not to, will you? Shan't change my opinion just cause of those nasty yaks behind my back.

If I am Celeste Chen, a picture of me showing the holey finger would be apt, now.

Friday, Hairspray! Whoo.

I'm morose after the papers. And I swear that lumpy ASDFGH pisses me off so bad, I want to drown her in arsenic.

):

2007-08-26T11:28:00.000+08:00

Isn't my auntie just kiuut? (koped off my cousin's blog) She's channeling Tracy Tumblad! I can't wait to watch Hairspray, people! Zac Efron. SQUEEEEE! (:

I'm double fucked, I tell you. I totally forgot there's CHINESE exams tomorrow. Bye!! <3

2007-08-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE BLAAAH!

Sorry, utter random-ness. I'm tuning into the Muttons@98.7 fm. (:

Jessica's gonna commit. Now. Finally.

The holey tubs, I miss you. Stop going AWOL. It bunches my panties very bad.

2007-08-22T08:59:00.000+08:00

Please tell me this is ugly.

And no, I'm not dead. It's just mild bronchitis. Will be up and functioning tomorrow!

Watched FP last night. Boring. Much rather read Go Fug Yourself.

Ciao, loves. (:

2007-08-18T21:12:00.000+08:00

In response to Zoe's tag. (:

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things/habits/little known about yourself. People who got tagged must write them in a blog of their own. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. (no tagging back!)

1. I like the... smell my own pits give off. Hoho.
2. I have an insane habit to do things over and over again. Take Harry Potter for example. I've read each of the books at least 5 times over, and it still doesn't bore me.
3. I like to say things in threes. Like, "wtf wtf wtf".
4. I can't stand being in a dirty/smelly room.
5. I aspire one day to become a FP (fashion police) and kick all the FDs, FsquareDs, FDsquares, FHDs, FHSD, SD, so on and so forth, to Azkaban.
6. I wanna be a surgeon because of the potential gore involved. (:
7. I like... farting in a room and watch the disgusted expressions of the people around. Or like, plucking off their hairs and watching them wince in pain. Sadistic.
8. I hate zombies. If I watch a zombie show, I get so freaked out, I won't be able to sleep well for 2398702987 days.
9. I really, really, really love making people laugh.
10. I like to imagine I'm Hermione. HAHA, think of the magic involved, that immensely absorptive brain and.... RON WEASLEY!

People tagged : The holey TUBBINESS, Xue Zhi, Elinn, Daniel, Brenda, andddd, Keith. *stares*

I had the world's most satisfying haircut today for $44. O: I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! Abit troublesome cause I'd have to style it, but, small price to pay for potentially nice hair days all year long. I'm gonna go back to that stylist forever, he's the king. (: Anybody -girls- wanna hop onto the wagon and go to him for prom? He's definitely gonna style our hairs real nice, and, there's like... CUTE stylists there! I'm drop dead serious, they are cute with a capital C,U,T,E. And from what he says, it's not gonna be too expensive, so yay! I'm sold. Definitely. (:

My womb hurts.

2007-08-18T08:17:00.000+08:00

As an afternote.

What. The. -Beep-. is Fergie wearing in that Big Girl's Don't Cry mv? You've joined the ranks of the FDsquares, my dear. I sincerely apologise but I had too! You made my eyeballs hurt like fuck. Bunchy panties? I think that is still okay. BUT, you're opening suit. Oh god.

You can give me that grey dress though. I'm mad about it. (:

2007-08-17T23:23:00.000+08:00

Hey loves! I have simply no idea what to blog about ):

Things are not going that well at home, -coughs-, maid issues. Finally mummy is on my side on the issue. Turban. And after all that shit we've been through. It's really kinda annoying. Now, I know better, I'd follow my instincts all the fucking time in future.

and.. the queen! of course. :D

Something random. Do you think Mr Ong really comes by our blogs? O: It's uh, scary. You know I curse alot. Another random thing!! Uhh, THAT BOUNCY BOUNCY SMACK SMACK song is so stuck in my mind! I have no clue as to what the rest of the lyrics are. Just.. Bouncy Bouncy Smack Smack. Thanks ah, Don&Drew.

daniel. who looks.. uh.. nevermind. but is much better now!

I'm seriously considering going to a JC now. Man, I'm gonna go full steam towards fulfilling my dream. If I really make it into a sub decent JC, I'm gonna aim for these subject courses and kill myself in J1. :D

1) Biology - H3/2
2) KI (hopefully, H2)
3) Literature - H1/2
4) Chemistry O:/History - H1, hopefully moving on to H2s.

tubby! haha, when we were in sec 3!

Like, seriously. I'm actually considering Chemistry. So fuck ironic. I vehemently HATED chemistry when I was still in BP. Chiang ah ma, is so -inserts negative adjective-, she makes me froth in my sleep. Besides, she's so -inserts lipid related adjective- that when she steps into the swimming pool, the rest of us got dry. LOL. Omg, omg! I suddenly remembered her jiggly neck and... HAIR!! Sorry, bit of a mean streak going on lately. However, now, under the mysterious powers of OKM, I actually like it. (: Cause I understand it better now, but that's not the only thing.

myself. of course. don't say fishballs! or any balls. *glares*

Oh yeah, today's paper was shit easy. (: I'm proud of myself! I used to just look at the paper, scribble intelligible answers and konk out. I've NEVER passed my chemistry in BP.

delish. <3

Anyway, back to the JC thingie, it's gonna be either that, or.. Nursing. ): But I'm gonna shoot for the moon, so I'd fall among the stars even if I fail. I'm not gonna let Phys Ed/TAF get in my way, am I? Nyah nyah. Hopefully I'd be slightly shrunken by the time. I'm working towards it you know! I'm happily dumping my recess fats to Limei, who needs it, but works it off anyway, so it wouldn't kill her, but if I had it all I'd die so fast, and my fats would spread all around me like pancake batter on a girdle. Blooody long sentence. -frowns- Oh, and I'm gonna go back to volleyball too! If, I have the chance.

:D SLURPS! I WANT MAGURO AND SAKAE!

I miss yelling "Wu Zhong, Ace!" in the hall. Hmmm. I suddenly feel nostalgic. About BP, that is. I hate that school, but I miss it. How ironical, tsk. If you were to ask me which school is better, I'd really be unable to answer. They're polar opposites, but each is so unique in their own ways. Makes me wonder how that RGS girl felt when she first came to TWS.

my.. mother. and a very ugly Clarissa. (:

Urgh, nostalgia killed my mood to write. I'm finally over the dismay/disappointment/disgust at getting B3 for my Chinese. All starts with D, D for dreadful too. I keep wondering if by error, I'd get a T. T for troll. Potter fans, lol. (: I'm hell bent on getting a 1, I'm gonna work my ass off for it. You might not understand why, but I need it. To prove myself to everyone else and of course, myself. I need all of them to be 1s, or I'd never forgive myself.

VOLLEYBALL! rawr.

The pictures interjected in between this entire post, are that of my loves. Babies! You're all gonna be what I need to get through this. -Hugs- (: What do you mean, why I'm there? Of course I'm there. I just don't ALWAYS love myself. Gonna get a cut tomorrow, hopefully. Much loves people. Let's mug/cup/beaker/flask our arse off for the exams. :D

Pretty long post, for someone who doesn't know what to write. Hor?

2007-08-16T17:42:00.000+08:00

Ahh, relieve.

The English O'level orals are over. Phew.

I have been thinking, and I think, nothing fits our situation better than this.

Cancel my subscription, I'm done with your issues.

(Thanks Li Ying)

I'm feeling pretty damn good! (:

2007-08-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

You know, sometimes, I wonder if people will ever get to accept me.

Pretty much often, I get these comments. Some of these I should change, and some of these I really don't want to. What Meta said today really got me thinking. I don't know, from his mouth, everything I seem to be doing is wrong.

Maybe, I should really tone down my temper. Probably one of the things I should change. But about being cynical and all that, that I won't ever want to. I mean, it's a bit crazy to not be cynical just cause people don't like it. It's like, fat people can't call fat people fat. A little siao. I subject myself to the same kind of criticism, so I don't see why I should cut others some slack. I've always thought that the truth should be told, that people should not be deluded, much less by their own friends.

It's like, seeing some spinach caught in between your friend's teeth and not telling cause you don't wanna embarrass her, and/or seeing someone's fly unzipped and not telling them cause it's weird. It's just.. stupid. Like, if you know I'm a FD (fashion disaster) and you don't tell me, then I'd walk around totally FD-ish and others will laugh at me. Duh? Don't make sense right?..

I don't know. I've always been firm to my beliefs. I really felt kinda accused when Meta used those terms on me just now; made me feel like a cold hard bitch. Guess in someway I am, guess I've learnt the ways of the world too early. At least I'd survive in the corporate world.

To those whom I've been overly insensitive to, I sincerely apologise. I'm sorry if I hurt you or anything, but trust me, I meant good, not to put you down. I do not think of myself as any better than any of you. Fuck, I'm last in my entire level in BP, how much better can I be? I've never intended for any of you to feel this way.

----------------------------------

O'levels Chinese was a total bitch. ):

2007-08-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

MY GOD! I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!

1) Bitches deserve to die, not have kinda hot boyfriends.
2) NABEI! She is fugly lor! Give me her body and I'd be way hotter than her. AND, guess what! She's a FD! What can be worse than a FD!? *faints*
3) She, is a boyfriend stealer. *faints repeatedly*
4) She attempted to, and she almost succeeded! Your friend! My boyfriend! What the cheese?
5) She's two-faced, thank you very much, and a lovely little whore.

Today, my girls, I bemoan the loss of a perfectly hot guy. However, since he's as blind as a dingbat to have fallen for a -insert whatever negative adjective-, and is supposedly super in love with her *chokes on own vomit*, he is, as of today, striked off my little red book.

However, it's kinda annoying still. That it's now confirmed that they're together, thanks to Google by the way. (Yahoo, pah!) It's like, knowing that your sort of friend has gotten together with a pile of turd. Oh well, he'd know that the Queen is right, after she's dumped him for another. She always does anyway. *sniff*

So asdfgh!

2007-08-10T13:01:00.000+08:00

I've watched Secrets! It's a must watch, people. Not only is there Jay Zhou, the movie has an absurdly good storyline and there's.... JAY ZHOU! Even though he has a ridiculously girly name. *beams* Must watch ah. (:

Went out for the entire day yesterday. Sushi-ed, shopped, watched movie, and chilled. I finally had my maguro and salmon sashimi, can't tell you how delighted I was. There were plenty of zebras around town; it was as if we were floating around in the African plains. We counted 16 from Cineleisure to Heeren, and you all know how short that distance is. Dan wanted to treat me to a full manicure, damn tempting, albeit pointless since there's school. I wanna get a cardigan and dine at that teppanyaki shop! God, I miss teppanyaki. I remember there used to be one in the food court at lot one. ):

Baking on Sunday, two days to mug. ): I'm so bored, and I don't wanna study. Help me!

2007-08-08T22:43:00.000+08:00

Helloooo! Just a drop in before I'll go konk out.

Qurratu, Zoe, Limei, Limin... I love you chicks! Today was crazy fun. (:

Baking makes me feel complete. I love Chester&Chelsea, damn, I wish I have a dog too. I love Limin's house.

Muacks people!

P.S//
I don't like saying hi to people I don't really like. We weren't even close, so why the offense?
Or... Maybe, it's your hair. I couldn't recognise you. :O

2007-08-03T20:28:00.000+08:00

I'm so fucking tired. And sick, of the now routines.

I'm fucking annoyed with that bitch. I know it's unfair; she has helped me alot, but that doesn't mean I don't have the right to get pissed. Damn right I do. It's her JOB to serve anyway. I don't scold her, rarely raise my voice. She does it to me instead. Atrocious. And she just chucks my stuff in a corner. My notes, fuck it. Any idea how many fucking hours I spent just to do that? No? Then don't fucking throw it around like garbage or something cause I will get pissed, damn-it. As if the usual shit you do is not enough. Watching TV at night when I'm sleeping, scolding the baby at night when I'm sleeping. If you had even tried to be nicer about it, act like you're apologetic, perhaps it wouldn't be that bad. Hey, kindly remember it is still MY room. Had I not negotiated with mummy you'd still be in that fucking hall. I seriously don't get why it's this way and instead of her being reprimanded, I have to fucking ren (bear with it). O'level year, hello? A little bit more sleep in the nights wouldn't kill. She is good with babies, I understand and for that I'm entirely grateful. She can be nice if she wants to, that I get but note the catch word? IF. It's mostly the opposite anyway. AND, when you ask her to do something, she'll give that fucking guai lan look. The adults say I'm too hot tempered, rash and all the negativities on the line. Well, I say fuck it. It's non of their business, and it's not theirs to judge who's right or wrong. They don't witness it anyway, she's always such a sickening angel in front of them. Two faced bitch.

I'm feeling frustrated and angry now, and there's nobody, who wouldn't judge me, to rant to. I've run out of stamina to continue the fight, I'm really exhausted. When I come home from school, all I can do is to drag myself for a shower then plonk down for a nap. And when that fucking shit is yelling at one baby, and the other sickening baby is wailing his lungs off in the room where the only bed is, should I be blamed for getting irritated? Then when she finally decides to drag MY mattress back from exile island, she has to go drag it on the floor outside. Correction, the dirty, corridor floor outside. My mattress, that dirty floor. AND she did the covers on the shoe speckled area. Can you blame me for being hellishly pissed? Nabei. I HATE THIS LAR, ASDFGH, and I brought it on my damn self.

I've lost most of my appetite since that most recent attack. Good, in a way. At least I won't accumulate more lard around the stomach.

To the beings in the skies and beyond, if you can hear me, or see me, please send a bolt of something down and make me so dead that not even a miracle could save me. Perhaps that way, I won't be that miserable. I'm 17 but I feel old, ancient enough to be a fucking dead cow. So why not make that come true?

2007-08-02T17:33:00.000+08:00

Been searching for masks online. (:

2007-07-31T12:45:00.000+08:00

I'm procrastinating.

Yesterday's trip to the hospital was god awful. Had needles stuck everywhere again. Had to be put on drips again. Insisted on going home. Otherwise, I'd have to have the op. I'm fuck afraid. I'd rather escape.

Slept away most of my day yesterday. Drugs too overpowering. Thank god for painkillers. Woke up today with the world's worst cramps. From yesterday's convulsions, stomach aches and contractions during vomiting. Not to mention the general stiffness from lying down too much.

): I'm a sad sad girl.

p.s. // I'm gonna shoot for the moon, just wait and see. And hopefully, you'll be calling me Dr Kong someday.

2007-07-28T22:01:00.000+08:00

It's that time of a month, again. My entire body hurts. ):

Just some random stuffs, am in no state to blog.

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

HA! Ron, we're destined to be. Ditch Hermione, have ME. (:

I know, it's always quizzes, but I'm bored, tired, in pain and too lazy to think of something interesting for you. Ouch, there's that cramp.

How weird, I always thought I'm more Christina Yang.

I just received a mail from viagra.com or something on the lines. O: I need viagra?! I'll make do with two watermelons.

OOH! I WANT WATERMELONS! META IN RETURN FOR TEACHING YOU YOU CAN PLY ME WITH WATERMELONS!

(: bye! LOL, I know I'm becoming boring. Don't run away from me. I'd become interesting. Soon. I hope.

2007-07-25T17:35:00.000+08:00

It's like saying goodbye to something too familiar. There's that little pang of heartbreak, of loss. I love you, Joanne Rowling. Thank you so much for bringing Harry Potter into my life. (:

The book is fantastic. I love, love, love it. It's one of those that you can't stop reading, you have to keep going at it until it's finished then would you be satiated. Plenty of shocks and pleasant surprises, and many touching moments that made me tear. Please, go get it. 50 bucks is nothing for such a great book. And it's the last!

I'll miss you, Harry.

2007-07-21T23:24:00.000+08:00

Liying:

If only I had the power to create a howler, I'd send a thousand to you. Now...
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHERE THE FUCK IS HARRY POTTER!? Nabei.

Today's outing was crazy fun. <3 Hi Leo, nice to meet you. :D

2007-07-21T10:00:00.000+08:00

I'm flabbergastingly tired and I have 4 very ugly blisters on my feet.

Mummy greeted me last night when I reached home. Couldn't bear to go pooling with the lovelies after all, my feet were throbbing like a machine gun. Imagine the relief when I reached home and stripped my shoes off. Then upon close examination I saw the blisters, which looked like very ugly pimples and I told my mum, "Ma, my feet got chickenpox!". She gave me the WTH look and floated away. Pffft. No sense of humour, some people. It was the same last night at VCH's cafe. I saw the small can of Pringles and I asked the aunty whether it costs $10 since their food there is so fuck expensive. She didn't get it either. (-______-|||)

The concert was, uhh, soothing for those with frazzled nerves, boring for those who can't seat still, and a few moments of pride for those who won something. I'm fucking proud of Qurratu. (: I loved the band's performance, that's the only performance item that was good. I enjoyed taking photos with all the classies. And, seriously, the fashion police should've been there last night. There are chances that I would have got caught of course; I was so fucking fugly and I looked like a blimp, but... there were so many FDs last night, I nearly died like a twitching cockroachs. Thumbs up for Zoe, Limei, Wendy, Limin, Joanne, Hidayah, and perhaps some random others that I can't seem to remember. You guys were absolutely gorgeous, and Zoe, you top my list, girl. (:

I still can't figure why some people would wear polka dots (black and pink/white and black type, ala S.H.E) though. I have an advent dislike for polka dots of that sort. Makes you look like the Kotex pads from long long ago.

Kudos to the guys too, Harris, Zhaojie, Kaifeng... Harris was a little overdressed but it's still nice. I half expected him to whip out a gun and yell Bang Bang.

Enough about fashionism. Two more odd months to O's m'hearties. Let's strive! (:

2007-07-19T17:31:00.000+08:00

I'm hungry, and totally craving a bar of Mars.

I absolutely hate shopping for myself, unless it's for shoes, or makeup or whatever accessories/necessities. So fucking annoying. Expectations too high. Pffft. Went to bugis with Tubby after school yesterday. Got makeup, again. I really wanted this bag but didn't get it in this end, and now I totally regret. I've no bags for tomorrow! * jumps around * How ah?

OMFG. NO BAG HOW!? I DONT WANT TO CARRY MY POTASSIUM MANGANATE-D SCHOOL BAG.

Ooh yeah, we bumped into Xiaxue yesterday. I nudged Tubby very happily and that twat didn't see anything. Different height, different views, right? HA. She's really short. :X Tubby was rejoicing that she is taller than Xiaxue. Other than that, there wasn't much that went on. Just mindless shopping. The 960 we were on was fucking annoying though. It screeched and screeched like Sirius's mum.

I want to bake someday! Any special requests? ;)

2007-07-17T19:38:00.000+08:00

I love lessons with Mr Ong. :D

Have been sleeping pretty much today, catching two winks in between and during lessons, and forty when I came home. I'm so fucking tired, and I have absolutely no idea why.

Xiaxue's getting vindictive. Got to know this.. uh.. shit, from the Queen Bee's web. Am very disgusted. She takes suggestive, provocative but mostly tasteless pictures. Bleargh. I write better and I don't even have a fraction of her hits. Nabei, Xiaxue link me, pleeeease? I also want blog traffic.

I wonder if there'd be a rebuttal from Miss Shit herself. Xu Bin, what the hell are you doing with a tasteless shit? Move on, man.

Be going to Mediacorp on Friday, timing is devastatingly bad. What better day than on the public concert itself? However, I hope it'd be a fruitful trip. :D I hope I get to see Dan, the man. Woots! It's gonna be one helluva mad rush on Friday.

I am deadly jealous of that writer (Incurable). Deeeeadly. I want to write like him. I am so pale in comparison. ): Fat dreams of getting a 28 if he's a thirty. It'd happen if the sun rises from the west instead.

GAAAAH!

2007-07-15T10:38:00.000+08:00

Presumptuous little twat. *stares*

Yesterday's shopping trip totally made me feel like a lao aunty. Just a little trot up and down Orchard sent us all into moans and groans. Except Daniel, I guess. Should have seen us in the cab. Tubby and XueZhi were concussing and I was paralysed. And all for what? A stinking pair of shoes. =0 GAH!

I couldn't find any clothes I like. And the one I loved can't contain my bust. Wretches. Gorgeous LBD, won't you ever be mine?

Thanks to my sweetie pie, for accompanying me yesterday, and for the curler.
Thanks Tubby and Xuezhi for coming along even though you're both fuck tired.
Hello again, Fiona and Venron, even though it was tres awkward. :D

2007-07-13T23:09:00.000+08:00

I had... Frog's sperms... Today...

*runs to the toilets to puke*

won't you like a bowl of expensive... frog sperms?

I used to like it a lot when I was young. Occasionally, mummy would leave some simmering in a pot, for me to have after school. She always said it was expensive, so me being young and idiotic, expensive = delicacies = good. I drank every last drop, ate every last bit of jelly. Today, she happily announced that this, is actually frog sperms. And subsequently commanded me to finish two cups of it.

... *wails!* Will I start having tadpoles? [Joke, people. -__-"]

Why are Chinese people sooo weird? It used to be ling liang; the antelope's horns, then it was tiger penises, followed by crocodile meat, swallow's saliva, cordyceps, and... frog sperms. I know there's a hell lot more of weird Chinese stuff lurking out there. I swear to god I'm not gonna have any more Chinese-related medicine. What if it's uh, bear ovaries next? :O

p.s. // I googled this shit, appears that some webbie claims its actually frog uh, oviduct fat. Omfg.

2007-07-13T00:47:00.000+08:00

1) Harry Potter was disgustingly disappointing.

2) I'm a fucking screw-up.

3) My diet got utterly botched today. I'm fuck afraid of writing what I ate down, cause it'll make me look like the world's biggest pig. If I'm not already the world's largest.

4) Harry Potter sucked.

2007-07-10T18:22:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing I hate most, it's GLOM-MERS.

Definition of Glom?

1. To steal.

2. To seize; grab.

3. To look or stare at.

Okay, scratch number 3 because it's not that relevant to my topic as of now.

By glomming in this case, I refer to the stealing of friends.

*growls*

It may seem like a case of pettiness, but trust me, its not.

Do you have any idea how asdfgh-ingly annoying is it when people glom? Like, out of the kindness of your tiny little heart, you introduce X to Y, Y gloms, and off they go into the sunrise, happily ever after, while you stand alone in your island of loneliness. The worst thing is, when Y tries to glom, but seriously can't click with X, but still attempts glomming anyway!!

What the hell? Why not just drop dead and die. Stupid glommers.

....

I'm really tired today. Sorry if I was utterly grumpy.

2007-07-09T18:54:00.001+08:00

My new favorite?

The MV is so fucking touching, I'm tearing along with it. I love love love it, even though Avril has kinda awful eye makeup and she's obviously lip-syncing. But fuck, who cares? The song is so damn nice, it makes up for everything.

*whistles*

I shall tell you all a secret. Jessica, loves... Male violence. Haha, told you I'm a little sadistic bitch. I love to watch guys quarrel/fight, the manliness that exudes. Roooaarr. I don't know why though, I'm so weird. It's just... so... exciting. HAHAHAHA!

Today's incident in class, why not just put it this way. If you wanna fight, go ahead, I love to watch the manly little facades you guys put on. But seriously, -ahem- should grow up, and both of you need to learn. how. to. be. civilized. Don't give me the bullshit on TW people have always been uncivilized what... So, do you really like to be deemed UNCIVILIZED? If so, the following sentence is strictly for you, Mr -ahem-

Go dunk your head in a bowl of smegma. *raises the holey finger*

I was a tad annoyed at the racist comment. I was gaping like a fish out of water; never been so brusquely confronted on my racism issues. BUT EVEN THEN!? Mr. -AHEM- should have realised that I've never had issues with Indonesians of any sizes. My racism lies with other races. *coughs, what a sentence.* Why, if I had issues with you (and so, your race), tsk, I wouldn't even waste my breathe on you. It's for your own good, my dearest classmate, to learn how to bloody be civilized.

You know, BP is the world of mind games and mental fucking. We never used violence, our vile tongues can dish up verbal lashings severe enough to deal someone a heavy blow. So, I'm not that exposed to violence in this sense, the most violence I've ever witnessed was a little cat fight during my embarassing ah-lian days. Even then, it was some weak clawing and slapping here and there and the VERY cliche... pulling hair. HA! Now, I'm in TW, and have thus seen violence, *Roooaarr (:* I still think mentally fucking someone is better than using your hands.

Waste energy. Therefore waste money on food, since the energy reaped from food will be wasted on fighting.
Can still look totally glam. [But if you're guy, go ahead! FIGHT! So hot. :D]
Won't need to dirty your hand with opponent's sweat/blood O:/whatever bodily fluids.
Effects of a mind fuck can linger long enough to haunt the tortured soul. Blue-blacks? They just go away!
No evidence left, won't get prosecuted. Hoho.
Won't get hurt if you're the thick-skinned sort of people, like me, or if you're like... brainless. Your opponent's verbal lash will just get reflected into outer space so you won't feel a single thing.

Don't you agree with me? (:

Well, I was madly proud of myself yesterday for completing the science paper all on my own! The satisfaction of finishing a really good piece of work kept me high for quite a bit. And today, after much frustration, I finished a paper on map reading mostly on my own. (: It's easy peasy to most of you, I know, but it's been an entirely different thing for me. Much thanks to Pei Xuan, Qurratu, and random people for helping me. Mrs Teo said the exact same thing as Tubby did. That I ramble on! Boohoo. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get, because I can't refute their claims because it's really true! But how not to ramble? I have no idea. It seems like everytime there's an argumentative essay, I literally get verbal diarrhea. Ply my points with explanations and examples. ): And I used to be reaaaaally good at argumentative, you know? I think the highest I got was a 25/28. Fuckanathan. What's wrong with me!? My remedy? I'm going to ply Mrs Teo with essay after essays until I get 25, then finally 28. And I'm gonna focus on argumentative/short stories/personal recounts. What do YOU think? Which is my real forte?
Okayyy. Gotta dash. Need to do timetable, and uhh... many many things.

P.S. // Should there be any misunderstood and angry little souls wanting to sling vulgarities my way, be sure you UNDERSTAND what I've written in the first place. Comments which obviously show you don't understand what I mean, and thus show your intense stupidity shall be deleted. (:

P.P.S. // Reminder to self: Pay Junyin five bucks [Biology 10 yr series] and Limin ten bucks [class admin] tomorrow!

When You're Gone: Avril Lavigne

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on my floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah Yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

2007-07-08T11:21:00.000+08:00

Save the earth! Click here. <3

2007-07-06T21:47:00.000+08:00

Zhaojing so cute! Hor, Jing-GAY!?! <3>

2007-07-06T17:31:00.000+08:00

I screwed up my oral.

Thanks to limin for being so damn sweet. I love, love, love you (:

Things has been kinda awful these few days. Rows, work, endless mugging. I feel lardy.

Shan't say much, not in the mood too. Good lucks to the rest of you babes. Don't be like me, screw up and retake at the end of the year.

I'm oh-so-fuckingly-depressed.

2007-07-01T10:52:00.001+08:00

I have a new found thing for Ronald Weasley and Oliver Woods. Oliver's accent is so sexy and Ronald's just sooooooo cute. =D Tubs have had a minor crush on just about everyone. Haha, Voldemort too, baby?I bet he drives you wild.

Was up till 2 last night trying to tweak my blog. Felt a little whozzy, while finishing up the touch ups. So pathetic right, I used to be able to pull all-nighters like XueZhi.

I just got to know we wouldn't have a few weeks off for revision before the O's. Like W.T.F? I'd seriously like to be cooped up at home and mutter biology or SS to myself for hours and hours straight. It's so detrimental to revision when like, you wanna be a Bio girl for a day then you still have to go to school and have maths cramped into your head. Let me quote Aaron from Bring it on, "Uh-uh, not cool!" How? I don't like leh. Can I revolt against the stringent education system?

Then there's still that issue of Phys ed. You know, I'm a lard-ass who hates running. I've never heard of Phys ed. lessons whereby you run, run, and RUN some more. All they do, is RUN! For an hour at that. RUN! I miss BP's half an hour of Phys. ed so damn much, I'm going to grow bonkers and like, uhm, wear BP's Phys. ed shirt and revolt. They get to play... basketball, netball, or captain's ball, and badminton and sucky floorball ... *whines* and all we do is RUN. Why run, huh? Don't see the seniorities run. So fucking unfair. Why can't we have GAMES! Damnit. The last I've touched a freaking basketball is so many moons ago. The last I've had a really good game and simultaneously laughing my lard-ass off at Tubs was so so so many moons ago. Thingthing, I miss you! That whats-her-name and Zi Ting, I miss you two too! Fadjrina, whats-her-name, and the malay girls of 4L1 I MISS YOU!!!! Not you, per se, it's actually PLAYING basketball with you all. *grumbles* Bloody running and pervy school who makes people run so much. Nyah!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
CLARISSA-KAYLA TAN YU WEN!
YOU'RE ONE FREAKING YEAR OLD AND I'M SO DAMN PROUD OF YOU! ((: May you grow into a really fine young lady and don't worry, I'd teach you how not to be a FD/a MD/a PFD, teach you etiquette, and teach you the know-hows of surviving in the Girl's World. I'd throw in teaching you how to curse, for free!
LOTS OF LOVE, JESSICA BEAN!

We had cake yesterday. *whimpers at the lard forming around my already thick waist*

I think I scared Sufiana yesterday. Hello babe! I'm a touchy-feely person so I extended a hug. I'm not a pervy, okay? (: And you look mighty fine too. Did you see Tubby? She has metal bowl hair, AGAIN! LOL -dies laughing-

Uhm, what else have I left out. Right, something totally random. Java Chip is my new favourite. Whoo! (: Missy Donuts were decent. Hey, did anyone know that the bleeding donuts are.. FRIED! Like, wthwthwth? I thought they were bad enough baked, but turns out they get FRIED too? Ok, I'm swearing off my sweets. No cake, donuts, or anything on that line. Do NOT talk to me about krispy kreme or offer me any chocolates. NO MORE!

I miss chicken rice and laksa and char kuey tiao. Hello, my dearest friends. It's been long since I devoured you. Now, everytime I walk past a stinking Chicken Rice stall I go bonkers. But happily so, I've resisted all inner urges to get chicken rice. (: Uber proud of self. I think it's been like two months though. That's quite long. Now, I'm going to obscure myself from OCK's curry puffs or OCK's anything, Shihlin's super big chicken chops, LJS's salsa cheese fries, KFC's anything and MOS's mos chicken. Byebye, my dear sub-friends. I'd miss you too. *waves a teary farewell*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
DARLING!

2007-06-24T11:08:00.000+08:00

*trembles with half rage*

I cannot stand people, who type like this!

"whaarrd wil euu be duing tdaeex?"

Have you gone half spastic or something? The euu is already slightly above the top, the whaarrd throws me off my case and the tdaeex made me pop. I would have expected that from juniors, darling. Your act cute little gismo just turned me off my food, disgusting little whore.

I'm really supposed to be studying now... Little Miss Procrastinate, I am.

I miss maple :X

2007-06-23T22:32:00.000+08:00

I swear to God that my stinking desktop is absolutely nuts.

I was cleaning up my room today. Can't believe the amount of dust. Swopped my com stuff around yet again. When I switched it on after the swop, I discovered to my horror that the Internet is down, and there were issues with my sound card. Spent the next hour fucking around with it. Didn't get it sorted. Now, they're all okay. Super nuts lah! Give me my lappie anytime.

Went out to meet moms at CWP today. Went on a little spree to get stationary. Didn't manage to stock up on as much pens as I'd like to, boo. Didn't get my mechanical pencil either! There's this weird little phenomenon occuring around my pencil case. Things disappear before you can say A-fish-in-the-garden. My Zigs, black/green/red/blue pens, eraser, mech pencils. Almost all of them disappeared, one after another. Now that I've replenished my supply, I'm going to guard them like a lioness.

I HEART MY STATIONARY OKAY! DONT KOPE MY BABIES! *stares at Tubs vindictively*

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

I'm a quality read leh! *Smirks*

Studied at Tubs's house today. I love her house, it's uber comfy and her aircon is super strong. It's just that her mom really, really terrifies me. I was cowering when she gave Tubs an intense interrogation whether she finished the food or I did. I didn't! [Ok, I did. But I let Tubs have her fill first whaaaaat... *whines*] Her mom is quite humorous though, and sweet at times, but when she starts roaring... All I want to do is run away. Oh, and I drooled on Tubs today. LOL ((:

p.s. // Who ask you to be so comfy, ah? HAHAHA!

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life.
But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it.
Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career.
Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!

How Happy Are You, Really?

this thing is lying. )):

Right, I still have mountain loads of homework and revision to do. Haven't planned anything concrete for the holy Revision Schedule. Need to get hold of the new timetable first. But wednesday is swim day right, Tubs? Don't wimp out on me. I'm gonna squeeze rounds and rounds of revision in before the prelims. Determination, baby. No more slacking and not doing stuff cause I don't want to. Coming term three, I'll be a REALLY good girl and mug, mug, mug. Don't ask me out. Won't be free except if it's to swim. Study with me? Sure thing. Xuezhi! The me-you-Tubs combo work really well, let's study more often :D

To do by monday:

English:
1997 Composition
1997 Situational writing
1997 Summary
1998 Composition
Social studies:
Notes on previous lesson
Chemistry:
Revise for NH3, H2O & H2SO4
Revision Tests

You Are 71% Vain

You're a little vain, but you also work hard for your good looks.
Just remember, everyone knows you are a total hottie. You don't have to remind them.

How Vain Are You?

(: So buy me makeup for my b'dae. I'm a vainpot!

p.p.s.// Don't you find girls superficial and hypocritical? I blog-hopped today and read about the souring of a friendship. Dreadful. To think they were besties at that. What if we become like that one day, Tubs? I'd cry my eyes out, I would. Watch out for your own back, girls, the one next to you might just be aiming a bangbang in your direction.

p.p.p.s.// I heart vindictive posts. (: I'm a little sadist.

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful
But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself
You're the perfect blend of independent and caring
You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

*little giggle :D*

2007-06-21T20:17:00.000+08:00

I'm a very happy girl today.

Oral went miserably okay. I know, that's a contradictary statement, but that's really how I felt. Fled from school after the orals and bumped straight into Brian! You're looking mighty fine, darls, cuter than ever and sotong as always :D Would have stayed longer to yak if not for your huge bunch of male friends. I miss bullying you at work. Miss whining at you to do stuff for me too. Ha :D

Went to visit grandpa after catching a breather at home. Everytime I look at him I feel that little pang. He's just getting frailer and frailer. ): Thank god he got to the hospital in time that day.

Popped over to Queensway shopping centre afterwards. Got a new bag, pouch, couple of FBTs, then headed down to IKEA to get my red wastepaper basket. I totally heart the pouch, it's gorgeous. And now, I can't decide what to use it for! Hahaha, really love it though. Thanks to mommy dearest, I'm an ultra happy girl.

Ooh yeah, we had the swedish meatballs and poached salmon at the IKEA cafe. Didn't really like the balls. The salmon was super soft and yummy but the sauce... Too creamy! So it got kinda sickening after abit. Clarissa made a big big mess and offered the cleaner aunty a shred of tissue in return for cleaning up after her. Ha!

I had my hair cut with Tubs after coming back. Don't really like it. ): I swear never ever to cut my hair at a neighbourhood shop. That bloody uncle was so damn rough with his stinking comb and brushes, it felt as if he was shredding my scalp. The aunty was so lousy, she made Tubs look like a helmet head. -_-" Never, ever. I was toying with the idea of rebonding my fringe (I hate it when it shrivels up) but then again, for what? I'm going to have an utter lack of social life the next half a year and have to clip my stinking fringe up in school. Might as well save the money for a gorgeous extension+curls+colour at the end of the year.

Jessica's statement for the season? Long hair out, shoulder lengths and bobs are in. (:

My favourite little girl <3

2007-06-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

I'm breaking out and I have no idea why. ):

It's gonna be short today, just a little post and I have to run. Got a date with wuzun. HA! Anyone has a really good tip to aid the removal of ugly sun-burnt skin? S.O.S I've got a really ~~ugly~~ sexy back now.

Pre-lim orals tomorrow. I'M SCREWED! Think I'm gonna do absolutely terribly. ): Wish me and my sexy back tons of luck people?

2007-06-16T11:09:00.000+08:00

I'm a twit who can't live without her taxis. (:

Class outing was, uh.. quite fun. I suppose. Woke up super early fretting over stuffs. Then it started to rain. (-__-") Someone up there don't really like me, huh? We pushed ahead with the plan anyway. Tubby waddled over to give me a hand. I ended up packing my entire house into my basketball ball bag, and it looked super ridicuous on me.

Was super happy cause xuezhi answered on my first call. Deeply honoured, m'dear. [We normally have to call him like 50 times and he still won't get up] Met HX and their gang at 10.30 to pass them our trays of food and all, then went to kembangan to get the reeeal food.

Played volleyball with Meta, Norman, Andrew, BX, HX and the rest. It never gets past the service. When the charcoal finally came, M.hakim the caveman and Norman started the fire. Much love to this two guys. They really helped super alot. Starting the fire, and helping to cook, and relighting the fire once I start whining. <3 Then Meta went into his satay craze and started drizzling honey and butter everywhere. Lol. ((: The guys were uber cute. Once the food started going out, the orders came in. Had to cook for everyone. But I didn't mind, at least they were all fed and happy.

Much much later, XZ dumped Tubs and PF into the sea. HAHA! Plans execute reeeally well don't they? Lucky me, if I had extra shorts I would've gone in too. All in all, quite a successful outing. *beams* Pictures sometime soon. Don't have them now. )):

Pa, did you hear me yesterday?.. I really miss you.

2007-06-13T23:14:00.000+08:00

I. Am. So. Pissed.

Why are there SO many stupid people in the world?

Can't wait to drop them into a pool of Frankenfish, one by one, watching as the monster chomps them off bite by bite, until the entire pool turns crimson. Then I'd smirk and laugh my evil little heart out.

I don't mean to be rude lar, ok? BUT SERIOUSLY!? IS THIS A CLASS OUTING OR WHAT!?

Ok, first you all said you wanted an outing. BBQ at that. So fine. I planned one.

Ask you all about location? You guys said ANYTHING. So I booked West Coast. Then you all said you wanted East Coast, and give me all the nonsense like, West Coast's boring, yadah yadah. Ok, so fine. I booked East Coast.

Now that I've finally gotten an East Coast pit, you all bail out on me again. Too expensive. Ok, so I cut it down from nine bucks, to seven. Still, no can do. Not enough money. THEN WTF DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? How am I to please every single one of you. I can't. I understand that you might have financial problems. I'm strapped up myself. BUT SERIOUSLY! I told you all about it weeks and weeks ago. Three weeks, if not more!

It's NINE dollars, maximum. Saving three dollars per week isn't very difficult right? Bullocks, you'd much rather spend it on dota or some other shit. Then what about me. If seven dollars is so difficult to cough up, THEN WHAT ABOUT ME!? I HAD TO PAY THE CATERER. 50 OVER DOLLARS. MY OWN MONEY! AND I DONT HAVE MONEY AS IT IS! I HAVE TO GO AROUND WHEEDLING AT THOSE WHO ARE NOT GOING, JUST SO I WONT HAVE TO BUST MY BANK!

Think it's funny to play someone out? Think again.

I know I've never entirely been considered a part of you all. I know you might not appreciate my efforts. I know you would think that I'm fucking unreasonable after reading it. But you know what? I don't give a flying cow's shit anymore. It's only a year, I don't give a damn if you guys make things miserable for me after this. But I bothered to do something for you guys cause I felt we needed a break, and it's kinda like our last chance t bond/relax before the O's. I liked you guys enough to bother doing it. God knows I've never cared at BP. So seriously, be fair to me, don't give me all this shit about coming and not eating, therefore not needing to pay and all those bullshit.

ROAR!

p.s. thanks to those who paid/contributed/donated/helped in anyway. I love you guys to bits! =)

THANKYOU ((:

2007-06-11T21:22:00.000+08:00

Hello!

I'm so exhausted now, I barely have the energy to blog. My eyes are on the verge of shutting.

Today is a happy happy day! Finally got a chance to go shopping with tubby at Vivo. We've been wanting to go there since last year. That bloody mall is so big, I'd probably get lost if left to fend for myself.

Took neos! (:

XZ gave me a crown (:

2007-06-08T21:16:00.000+08:00

I've been having cranky little mood swings. I'm deeply apologetic if I've ignored you or have been rather harsh. I'm just cranky.

I actually have quite abit to say, just that I've no idea if its appropriate and I'm sick and tired of being emo and angsty. I feel like kidnapping someone I'd never meet, never know, sitting him/her down and start ranting to him/her. It's like, there's never anyone appropriate that I can talk to. There's always SOMETHING that I can't say. Which is of course, so very annoying, but what else can I do?

There's so many things I want to do, but can't do. I've been yearning to play volleyball indoors, have a really really exhausting training. I've been wanting to play netball or volleyball, with those I used to play with. I've been wanting to swim, to plow through laps and laps till I'm really dead tired. I've been feeling this insane little surge of panic and guilt for not studying hard enough. Can't, haven't, wouldn't.

I really want to do something, to tire myself out so thoroughly that I'd be able to sleep for one and a half days as I did in the past. To just do something so that I'd not be able to think, not be able to bleed inside.

I really just want to hold your hands and run away to somewhere no one would find us.

Guilt, regret, panic. Fretting, wondering, screaming at the confusion in me.

A minute ago, I was smiling and laughing. Now, I just wanna hide somewhere and die. Bizarre, and oh so strange. Why won't the world swallow me up and enclose me somewhere with a corner I can lean on and sleep?

I don't do anything else much these days, except getting irritated. Don't feel pleasure in doing anything else. Days rush by in a flash. Home, stone, eat, sleep, school, study. Routinal, boring, terribly frustrating.

Fuck assertions. Why can't it be her and not *her?

Stuck in an eternal cycle. Wonderful.

Don't belong anywhere or to anyone. Don't have anyone, in the first place. How miserable.

Everyone enjoys screwing me up. Wonderful. Class outing? My big hairy ass.

Fuck the damn hypocrites and liars. What did I do to get this?

Doodle, doodle. Stone, stone.

Life is an endless carousel, one with the lights blown out and colours dulled. Life dances to the tune of a funeral march. Life.

2007-06-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

I posted the quiz and promptly forgot to blog. Ooops!

I'm totally in the mood for asking questions. Play 20 questions with me, someone?

Been swimming abit lately. Yay-ness! After 1298172 years, I'm swimming again. I think my ex-ex-ex coaches might be proud, seeing as to the fact that I'm round as a balloon but can still remember what they taught. I'm also teaching tubby t swim, and it's fucking hilarious.

Brought Kayla to the pool tday too. She can barely fit into the 'jacket-float' I bought her that time. The monster has grown so much. She's gonna be one so soon! ((: Seems barely yesterday that I've first met her, in that little hospital room. Just in case you might read this in future, my little sweetums,

I'M UBER UBER PROUD OF YOU AND MAY YOU BLOOM INTO A PRETTY YOUNG LADY UNDER MY GUIDANCE! (:

Now, for some random photos.

//p.s. HX, you lucky little bugger, look what I've got for you! :D

2007-06-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

Caught the bug. (:

2007-06-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

I, can give you gatsby. Gatsby. Gatsby.

There's one with him spraying hairspray all over his bod. Damn hot. (: The royal finger to those who says its gay. Its not and even if it is, so? Discrimination against gays or just positively jealous. ((:

Anywaaays. WILL ANYONE PLAY VOLLEYBALL WITH ME!? *whines*